Big Changes and not so much changing

So on the weight loss front, I'm holding steady. No weight loss just maintaining. At this point that's a blessing. However there have been other bigger changes in my life that have has sginificant changes in my life.

The first of which is I have a new house guest. My cousin is an addict who was homeless about 6 weeks ago, when my Mom took put her on a plane and dragged her here to MO from CA. My Mom has a habit of taking in all the strays. eveyrone in my family, at one time or another, have lived with her as adults. My sister and her husband were also living with my Mother. A huge blow up happened between my cousin and sister and my sister lost all common sense and tried to (and kind of succeeded) in doing bodily harm to my cousin. It's not my story and I'm just so squicked out by the whole thing I don't want to talk about it. Besides the whole point to the build up is that I have let my cousin move in with me for the time being. It's a difficult transition, because she is an addict, she's trying to stay clean, she has no job, and she has a poor mee attitude. Before this week, I probably would not have let her move in, but I did because one other big thing happened to me this week.

I've been taking an Explorations class through my Church over the last few weeks. I've been going to this Church for almost exactly a year, and trying to figure out just how I feel about Religion and God. Monday's class was what they call BHQ, Big Hairy Question, night. I don't remember everything that was said, but I do know that I started crying and couldn't stop. After the class was over I talked to my brother, whi is a pastoral resident at the Church as well as a Pastor, and after speaking to them, well I prayed and accepted Jesus Christ into my life. It still makes me a bit uncomfortable talking about it, because I am not an expert, have no idea what I'm doing, and have no idea what the next step is for me. All I do know is that I'm feeling very zen this week. I'm more calm than I've been in a long time and I feel like I'm finally on God's plan.

Anyway, so no weight loss but still some life changing stuff. Tonight is Zumba, tomorrow is Zumba, and on Monday I'm getting the Coppola Keratin Complex treatment done on my hair. Straight hair easily and for free (my friend owns the salon and my hair is a training ground), I'm so there. Of course it also means that for 72 hours after that I can not exercise! Super bummed about that, but I'll jum right back on the exercise train the day after Thanksgiving. So that's my life this week. What does yours look like?

I suck

So I am a crappy blogger. I have absolutely nothing interesting to say these days. Mostly because I spend most of my time exhausted, which in turn has left me mostly off program the last two week. Imagine that. Right after I hit a new low, I completely reverted back to my old habits. Thank God, I haven't taken up smoking again, although I can't even say it hasn't crossed my mind once or twice in the last two weeks. The only reason I haven't is there is no way I could both crappy eating (i.e. fast food) and cigarettes. I'd be completely broke. I'm trying to figure my way out, and I'm beginning to think my only option is to return to my WW meetings.

I am still exercising three days a week, I need to add another day in because 3 days is not enough for my body to lose weight, even when I am on track with food. I have two more weeks in my Explorations class that I take through my Church (it's an awesome Church btw, and that's something I never thought I would say). Once I'm done with this class I'll have my Mondays back and I can start taking my Total Body Workout class again. I think that will go a long way in getting me back in the mode. I actually hate that class a lot. It's a lot of step aerobics, but I love what it does for my body. I'm still taking Zumba three days a week. With the right instructor Zumba is completely awesome, and I have two instructors that kick all kinds of ass.

And I need to figure out a way to incorporate more veggies into my diet. I did okay for a while but I'm lucky if I get vegetable every other day now. I think I might be in carb overload.

So anyway that's where I'm at. I think (don't know for sure because I've been unwilling to get on the scale today. lol) I'm up about 3 lbs. I'd like to lose that 3 lbs before I head to Vegas next week. I'm only there for two days and one of those days I'll actually be working, but I will get to have one night of fun.

This is actually a weigh in post...

I know, I know, it's been quite some time since I've done one of these, but since I actually have good news this week, I thought I'd actually post some numbers. I think the last time I posted my weight I was 206.8, since then I think I got back up as high as 209. This morning the scale said 205.4, so not only have I lost the weight I had gained, I'm now at a new low! I have 6 1/2 weeks until my birthday and it would be such an awesome "gift" if I could be under 200 by then.

I'm feeling pretty good. I'm happy with the food I've been eating and the exercise I've been getting and as a result I'm finally seeing the scale move in the correct direction. I'm about to go to my Sat. Zumba class! Have a great weekend all.

Triumph of the day...

It's only 7:20 in the am and already I've had a triumph. In my hand this morning was a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit sandwich. I was already savoring the taste of it in my mouth, and then I walked by the cold foods in the cafe and saw cottage cheese and low fat yogurt. I put the breakfast sandwich back and got the cottage cheese and yogurt, all because I remembered my post from last night where I discussed the fact that I was going to make changes. So Day 1 going well so far! (if only I had taken pictures :p)

Oh and look at this, I'm posting all about it too. Things they are a changin'!


Update

Lunch has also been a sucess. Turkey sandwich on that weird Arnold bread.;) low-fat peach yogurt and a nutrigrain bar. + water, lots of water.

Now, I just nbeed to survive dinner and day 1 can be considered a sucess!

Week at a glance

This was a weekend of Zumba. My arms and shoulders are very sore from yesterday's interval training. However, despite all my hard work I've been in on the exercise front, my eating has managed to go to hell in a handbasket. I even ate a taco from Taco Bell, and cookies were involved in this weekends fiasco. There is hope for me though because I'm sick of my negative attitude and am finally feeling liek I'm ready to get past this stand still that I've been in. Starting in the AM I'm back on with food and no more excuses.

My life is about to get a lot busier. I signed up for an explorations class through my Church, so I start there tomorrow. Tuesday I have Zumba, Wednesday I play taxi so my daughter gerts to her Youth Group at Church, Thursday, I'm starting a new Bootcamp workout, Friday I have Zumba, and Saturday morning is one more Zumba class.

Also on Friday's my kid starts piano lessons, so I bought this for her this weekend...

Meatball sandwich contest

My daughter and I






So he failed miserably, neither he nor his buddy managed to eat the entire sandwich in the allotted 40 minutes. But we all had fun watching.

I'd like to be posting something...

that shows how things are different for me, and that I'm kicking all kinds of ass, but I can't. I'm sturggling to find my way. My job is more stressful than I thought it would be. I realize more and more how little I actually know. I feel like a complete fraud. I know this feeling will go away in about 6 months, when I've been there long enought o actually know stuff, but until then I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I'm still exercising at least 3 days a week. Unfortunately that's not enough for my body to actually make changes. I've found that I need at least 4 days in order to lose weight consistently. I need to get back into this. I am tired of being the weight I am. I've been playing around with the same three pounds for about 3 months now. Seriously, what is wrong with me? My food? Not so hot, although I did have a bit if a break through, where I actually went grocery shopping. Which means that yesterday, instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria, I brought my breakfast and lunch from home so I totally ate within my allotted points, but one day does not a habit make.

On a side note, since my face has gotten noticably thinner, I have begun seeing more wrinkles on my forehead and around my eyes. Now don't get me wrong, they are not very apparant probably to anyone but me (and my Mom, don't get me started!) but I decided to try something to see if it helps. After two days, I can notice a slight difference. We'll see how I feel in a month. This is what I purchased...

Avon Anew


One more thing... I plan to post pictures (if they come out ok) of my brother during his Meatball sandwich eating contest. I think it will be hysterical and mabe slightly gross. lol I hope he keeps the damn thing down. The contest is at 5 PM tonight.

2009 changes

Thought I would post some pictures that shows the changes in my face at least. I havne't lost a whole lot of weight since June but I've lost inches. Hope I keep it up.
March 2009... or thereabouts

Easter 2009
August 2009

September 2009

So I just erased a post...

that consisted of doom and gloom. Too many things going on and not enough time to concentrate on me anymore. I'm trying and some days work really well and some days... well some days are not. Today was a not day, but I got my kid to the Teen Ministry group at our church tonight, so at least one positive came from this day. Tomorrow is my last day with my current position. I'm really sad to be leaving before I had the chance to really accomlish anything there. My new job, should give me a ton more opportunities and I should be able to leave my mark with the organization. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And please! Stress, please go away!

Weigh in

It's been a while since I've posted any weigh in results mostly because I found myself back up to 209 before I gave myself a reality check and began correcting my behavior. I'm am back down to 206.2 as of this morning. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep it all up for this next week so I can see an almost 3 lbs loss again! It was quite a good feeling to see the scale moving again.

Life is crap.

I have handled teenage drinking and bi-curious behavior in the most awful manner. I thought I was far more tolerant than I really am. It's been a completely shitty week, and I'm not sure I like this business of being a parent to a teenager. I don't even know how to fix this huge gap between my daughter and me. It feels ike the Grand Canyon and since there are only the two of us in this house it is very quiet and extremely lonely here. I want chocolate very badly almost as much as I want to curl up in a ball and well, bawl my eyes out.

In other news, I got another new job and I start it next week. Travel is involved, which would be awesome, if it weren't for the above teenage drama. Intertnational travel is a distinct possibility. So can you tell my life is stressful? and actually through this all, I'm actually losing weight rather than gaining. haven't blown it all because of stress. So yay one good thing.

Tracking and success

So food has been good all week. I've even tracked everything I've eaten all this week. And all of my food has been brought home from home. No cafeteria food or even restaraunt food. Yay me! I think I might actually have a loss this week. Exercise is normal for me... which means good. I'm pretty happy about my weight loss program this week.

Things are afoot at work again. I think I might be switching jobs again. Work would be about 15 minutes closer, the work more challenging, and there is a possibility of travel (domestic and foreign). I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but I went over and met with the group this morning and it appeared to go well... and there was the hottest guy over in the building. He'd be a joy to look at every day. lol That's all I got.

In the interest of honesty...

I must confess that I had BBQ with the family today. There was cake. It entered my mouth. So much for kicking the sugar habit today. Tomorrow is another day. Ugh, I feel like such a loser.

And my arms, thighs, and ass are very sore. Like so sore that I'm having a hard time standing and sitting down.

I wish I had icecream. Sh*t I don't not really, well I do but Thank godness there isn't any in my house. *sigh* Tomorrow, I promise will be a better day.

I keep hoping I'll find it...

My willpower that is. I can't fiure out why I can kick all kinds of ass at the gym, In fact I've been doing 4-5 consistently for so long, that I feel pretty damn awful if I don't go to the gym. But food? Where is the girl who didn't go near fast food for 8 months? Where is the girl who used to say no to cookies, brownies, and icecream? This summer ruined me. I think I lost a total of 4.5 lbs since June. I've gained 2.4 lbs in the last 3 weeks. I'm trying to lose the sugar habit, In fact last night was the end of it for me. There isn't anything sweet left in my house. No icecream, no chocolate chip cookie, no yummy delicious brownies (those were made and eaten last night!)
I knew I was getting to this point again, so I went grocery shopping with a list and am ready for the upcoming week. Although... I already have to go back to the grocery store becuse I am out of bananas. I love bananas, I think they are the worlds most perfect fruit. So I need bananas and turkey meat, becuase I'm going back to making my lunches. Oh, and I'm getting yogurt so I can make fruit smoothies again (not for me, for my teen otherwise she doesn't eat breakfast, she's weird).

Hapy LAbor Day all! I'm off to the gym for another Zumba class, it's my 3rd class in 4 days. I'm so excited about this. I love Zumba!

Where has the year gone?!!!

I cna't believe it's already September....anyway, you would think that since I’ve now got the internet running at home I would blog more. Alas, I am a lazy creature by nature and I am way more busy that a lazy person should ever have to be. I’m up before 5 am every morning, at work around 6 am where I put in the minimum amount of effort possible (some days it surprises me how hard I work and other days it’s a lazy woman’s dream lol) I then go home cope with a moody teen, who is in luuurrrvve with a boy, and then go and spend at least an hour, sometimes two, at the gym working extremely hard and pushing my limits. By that time it’s close to 8 PM haven’t eaten, so I have to figure that out not only for myself but for said moody teen (not an easy task), clean, do wash, feed the cats, clean up litter boxes and other assorted cat messes (some gross, some just odd. Why do cats like paper so much?) By that time I’m usually too damn tired to do more than play Mafia Wars on Facebook before I give in to sleep.

All that to say, I’m here and Alive (funny that I typed that just as I’m Alive by Flyleaf started playing on my iPod) I’m just too lazy too write a lengthy or not so lengthy post as to what is going in my life.

I did not go weigh in again. I’m a horrible Weight Watcher member. In fact, I’m so horrible I finally decided I wasn’t going to spend $40 a month for it any more. Money is a little tight and I have to start cutting corners. I haven’t been following the program for about 3 months anyway. I have the membership through Oct 3, so I’ll stick it out until then and even discipline myself enough to follow the program so I try to get my 50lb charm, I’m about 8 lbs away from it, so it will be a stretch but I want to try for it.

I haven’t given up on my weight loss, in fact I’m feeling pretty good about everything right now. The Y added another day of Zumba so I get to Zumba 3 days a week now and I try to do Total Body 2 days a week, so my exercise has picked up and while I don’t always make the best food choices, I really focus on portion control. It’s helped me a lot. I’m losing small amounts of weight, not the huge numbers I want to see, but every time the scale shows a lower number I’ve accomplished something good. We’ll see how things go once the WW monthly pass is expired if I can keep it all up on my own. I need to try.

Well that’s all I got… at least that’s all I want to talk about for now. I suck all the air out of the room when I talk about how much my life sucks because my 15 year old has a better love life than I do. ;) And I never know how to express myself well enough not to come off like a desperate middle aged woman who lives with cats when I think about relationships, so I’m just not going there. How the hell is everyone else?

Back on track

Gosh, I'm totally on track today and I wasn't even trying. I even got in a fantastic workout. According to my HRM, I burned 678 calories, and my points for the day totalled 20. Yay, I get me a dessert... or snack of some sort before I go to bed probably a banana at this point... because I'm doing so well.

Work is going really well. I like my job and who I work for. I'm learning an enormous amount of new and helpful things that will make me a huge asset to the company. So I'm pretty excited.

Oh and my Y started a new session for all its classes and they added another day for Zumba! So I get to take Zumba 3 times a week now! I'm pretty stoked about that.

I ate cake

My niece's 4th birthday was celebrated today. It was a tea party. The little girls were so adorable! There was cake and I ate it. Way yummy cake. Thank goodness this is the last birthday of the month (there have been 5) and we don't have any birthday's to celebrate until December. Birthday cake is officially off the menu for the next three months! Will post pics when the photographer loads them into the computer to share.

Yay! Internet Rocks!

Well that was fast. I called yesterday to set up internet in my home, for like the first time ever, and they came out this morning and now I'm rocking the internet again. You know what this means? It means I can start blogging again, and it's totally awesome that I do not have to fight with my teen over the computer because I bought her a mini computer for her birthday earlier in the month. We are both currently sitting next to each other both on the computer. It will be pretty sad if she starts IM'ing me from 3 feet away.

So I guess I should also mention that because I was waiting for the cab;e guy, I did not get to my WW meeting this morning. Its okay though I'm pretty sure I was going to have a gain. I now have a week to get my act together again, so I can start seeing the number n the scale go down once again.

I'm about to go shopping for a four year old and then off to a birthday tea party for said four year old. My Mother got into a fight with the four year old's parent so the party should be loads of fun!

Week so far....

It's amazing how much a new job affects your life. I loved that I used to be able to bog everyday before the new job... but I didn't exactly love my job. I love my new job, but rarley have any time to blog.

I still exercise everyday (or almost anyway) I flaked big time on Wednesday and I missed Abs on Tuesday, but did Zumba. I havne't been doing Total Body workout this week. I normally do it twice a week, but did the elliptical instead because I was tired and I didn't want to be at the gym for two hours. So I did an hour to get something in. I need to step it up again. I miss that high I used to get from working really hard at the gym. It's probably ben two weeks since I've felt like that.

Food is not bad, not great but not bad. I've trried to get my fruits and vegetables in this week, but it never seems to be enough, and I've been eating a lot of sandwiches. I'm not usre why other than they are quick to get in the cafeteria and they are also convenient. I'm still having issues with soda. I don't drink alot (maybe 3 a week) but it's more than I want. Or rather it's more than I think I should be drinking. Believe me, I want every drop of the coca cola classic that I dirnk. ;)

I actually can't believe that it's already Friday. I have no plans for the weekend other than attending my niece's birthday party. She's turning 4 and we are having a tea party for her. I sitll have to buy a gift. Oh and I got my first pay check on the new job. The money? It's nice. So nice I'm finaly going to be able to get internet in my home. I think that might solve my blogging issues. So just a few more weeks of inetermittent blogging and then I can get my behind in gear again.

Weigh In

I made it to my Weight Watchers Meeting this week. This is a huge accomplishment for me as I have been avoiding weighing in for most of the summer and I've now gone 2 weeks in a row. The results... not too bad. I'm down 1.6 lbs this week giving me a total loss while on Weight Watchers of 40.2 lbs, and a total weight loss of almost 45 lbs. I'm very pleased with this and feeling much better about things than I have in a while. I think I've worked through the cookie issue. If I want one I'll have one, but I'm not going to continue with this daily habit. I managed to keep myself away from them after I wrote that post about them.

Work is still hectic and I'm thinking of going back for my Master's. My co-worker comes back from maternity leave the middle of Sept. and I think I'll start on my Master's in October. Wish me luck, because I know I'm going to need it!

Let's talk Cookies

I've been having an issue with cookies lately. I just can't sem to say no to them. Soft, chewy chocolate chip cookies appear to be everywhere I turn. And I just don't say no to them. Now, to counter-act my current cookie obession I do extra time at the gym, so I havne't had any significant gains from these cookies, but I'm not losing the weight either. I have to get past this, because honest;y I'm tired of working out 2 to 2 1/2 hours every night and not seeing a lower number on the scale. When this has happened to you, how have you worked past it. Is there an alternative out there that will satisfy this cookie obsessoin without killing me with calories?

I'm at a standstill...

I went to weigh in this morning and there was absolutely no change in my weight. Which quite frankly is a good thing considering I was dealing with cake in m house all week, thanks to the teens birthday. And on top of that a birthday dinner for my older brother at Maggiano's... a family style Italian restaurant. Talk about a carb overload. I did better than I expected there and exercised a lot. 2 nights this week, I burned over 1000 calories at the gym. (yes, I was at the gym a long time) And on top of that I completed my first week on the new job. I love it, but am feeling very overwhelmed. I've been being trained on a job that is basically back-filling while the person goes out on maternity leave. Her leave was supposed to start next week, but started yesterday when she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! Congrats to her, but boo-hoo for me as I have not been fully trained on everything yet.

I was woken up out of a dead sleep last night because someone was ringing my doorbell. My first thought was the kids were being stupid and locking each other out of the house. So I let it go, when the hit happened a second time I was all prepared to go off on someone... turns out my kids had been ding dong ditching someone else's house and they followed my kids home and told on them. Needless to say, I was pissed and now my nephew has to spend his last two days out here in MO with my parents because he's not staying with me, my daughter is grounded, for like evah! and my niece can't stay at my house for a while either. The one rule I had was not to leave the house once I go to bed, my daughter knows this, my niece and nephew know this and yet they broke the rule. I am totally an easy parent. I rarely ground my kid, I don't yell all that often. She can do pretty much whatever she wants as long as she asks me first, and 99% of the time my daughter should be like win Child of the Year. And then my nephew comes out to visit and she turns into a juvenile delinquent. Color me frustrated today. And in fairness when my nephew is not around my daughter he's a damn good kid, also a worthy candidate for COTY... maybe even more so because his home-life sucks ass big time. Anyway, I was totally embarrassed and had to crack the whip in the middle of the night and they have no idea how much worse it's going to be for them in the light of the day.

That's my week in a nutshell. How was yours?

Weigh In...

So I am down from last week. That's a good thing. I ws surprised to see 208.8 this morning actually. While I did so much better this week than the previous three, I did not do nearly as well as I expect from myself. I think it may take me a bit to get back in the groove of things but I feel like I am fianlly heading down the right path again.

My first day on the new job was yesterday. I spent most of the day settling in at my new cubicle with a staff meeting and a little training thrown in. I think I will really like my new job. I like my boss and my immediate co-worker (who is going out on maternity leave and is an e-published romance author!) Once she goes out on maternity leave I think I will be pretty busy because I really will have to learn her job, not just think I know how to do it.

My baby turns 15 tomorrow. Saying that makes me feel old, which is weird because I'm only 35! She's a beautiful young woman and I am so glad I have had the privelage of raising her. She has made my life meanignful in ways I never expected when I was a young 19 year finding out I was going to be a Mom. I hinelty didn't think I would be doing it alone and I didn't think at all about how my actions would form her and mold her into what she has become today. I still regret that I have given her my food phobias! If I'd known that would happen I would have never said on a weekly basis that I do not eat meast attached to the bone or food that comes from the sea. I severly limited her culinary experiences. lol

Anyway, that's my life as I currently know it. Have a wonderful weekend! I can't believe it's already August!

It's Wednesday already?

So here's a quick update of what's going on. I finally went grocery shopping on Tuesday, so there is food in my house and it is 99% healthy! I made breakfast before work today and I actually ate it! lol I've gotten two days of exercise in, and have plans to go again today. Wednesday laziness has gotten to me the last 3 weeks and I am determined not to let that happen to me today! I did have soda Monday night, even though my plan was not not have any this week, considering I'd been having a fully leaded soda a day the last couple of weeks, one in 4 days is pretty good.

I'm in the middle of training this week and start my new job officially on Friday. Looking forward to it, and hoping I will have more time to blog soon after.

Weigh In

Well not concentrating on my weight loss has a price. In this case it's 3 lbs. As in I am up 3 lbs! Oh hell no! Do you know how long it takes me to lose 3 lbs? Like almost a month and yet I've gained that in 2 weeks! So I vow to go grocery shopping, bring my breakfast and lunch to work every day this week. Drink only water or Ice tea and exercise more than 3 days a week. I'm shooting for 5 days. I may not be able to post my daily goings on at this blog week, but I'm going to try to blog more than once a week this week as well. I've noticed how easy I've slipped in my habits since I stopped posting on a daily basis. So here is to a kick ass week! I hope you all have had better results than I.

I'm buried!

I'm buried in real life drama. My life seems to be crazy with training new girl in old job and training me in new job, family drama, my sister's sick cat that must be fed every 2-3 hours through a feeding tube, teenager on summer break needing to be entertained, house renovations that seem to be never ending. Why in the world I started that I have no idea. I'm a little nuts! I'm still finding time to exercise, I managed to get a Total Body workout class done tonight (no Step!) And I did it with a tender back. I slept wrong Thursday night and have been in pain ever since! My food has not been the best, but I haven't slipped back into my old ways either. I'm a little bit overwhelmed and my internet time has been shortened dramatically. I'm bummed that I can't read and respond to others blogs or even post on my own blog. I think once I get my nephew back to CA, my sister's cat back to her, and my kid back to school my life will regulate again. Until then my blog posts aren't going to be consistent. *Sigh* I think what I really need is a vacation. I hope I can come up with one soon!

Oh, and my cold is finally starting to go away. I sound really nasally but my throat is not nearly as sore as it has been!

The cold that won't go away

I'm incredibly frustrated right now. I am now at one week of being sick. That's twice so far this year that I've been sick and it just won't go away. I can count one 1 hand the number of times I've been sick in the last 10 years and now that I'm getting healthy, eating right and exercising and I get sick twice in a year. That's just wrong.


Food and exercise are on plan this week. My house is still a mess. The b-i-l is taking sweet time getting my floors done, but I can't really complain as it's free labor, it's just a pain not having my house to myself. I'm a bit anti-social so I'm having a hard time with peeps in my house all the time. In fact I had to leave my home and not return until 9:30 last night just so I could get a little peace and quiet.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Hope everyone else is having a better week than me!

Weekly Weigh In...

I went to my WW meeting today. I was expecting to stay the same or gain because I did not exercise as much as normal nor did I track my food. I actually showed a small loss of 3/4 lb. So I'm happy about that and encouraged to start tracking and getting back to my regular exercise program so I can see bigger losses.

I actually spent the whole day exercising. Doing this:

Painting!

My brother-in-law is doing this for me in this room and my hallway:

wood floors... well bamboo wood anyway





I'm currently getting ready to go and see this lady at the Fox Theatre tonight:









Have a great night all!

I'm around

Last night for the first time in weeks, I took the night off from exercising. I was pretty darn sick, so I had a good excuse. I was all achey and feverish and could barely move my legs. They felt like lead! My house is in an uproar as I'm getting wood floors put in... just in the office and hallway. But hello! I walk the hallway several times a day. So it's been a little frustrating. When it's done it will be well worth it.

I'm feeling better today, but not perfect. I even went to work. Probably not a smart move for my co-workers, but oh well. It's not like I would have been able to get rest at home with all the banging going on. I've not been very good with food again. I've been saying that a lot. I don't know what's going on with me... and it's not like I'm going to fast food or eating three dinners, it's just that I've stopped tracking which has made it easier to say yes to foods I was saying no to before. My daughter and house guest will be heading out to a float trip for the weekend so I won't have to worry about feeding anyone else but myself this weekend. So I think I'll be able to find some order again... and time to get to a grocery store for my fresh fruit and vegetables. Next week, I will see a marked difference in my eating, because I have to lose this fat! There is some kick ass muscle underneath it and I want to be able to show it off! I am going to WW on Sat. I'm sure I won't enjoy the results, but I need to start over and this will be the perfect time to do just that!

I got the Job!!!

I'm so happy, I was offered the position this afternoon and I accepted. It's more money, more visibility, an I actually get to use my degree. So excited. I don't have a start date yet becasue my current manager has to release me first, but it's sometime in the next 30 days. Woo-hoo! AND I don't have to work tomorrow.

I'm here!

It's been a crazy horrible week so far. My food not nearly as good as it needs to be, my exercise has been awesome, major workouts every night this week... but that's about the only thing that has been awesome.
My sister's cats have been living with me for the last 10 months and on Tuesday morning Sarah, who was amost 16 years old died, in my house on my watch. So horrible. I cried, the kids, who found her, cried. My sister was damn near inconsolable.
Work has been crazy busy and it is driving me crazy. I also interviewed for a new position today, I think I did well but won't hear anything until sometime next week. I really hope this one works out because the job sounds like a lot of work but interesting and challenging which is what I want. So think good thoughts, okay?

I just have to get through tomorrow, and then I have a 3-day weekend, which I desperately need.

Back from Gym...

I did the Total Body Workout. I almost walked out because the regular instructor was not working and the sub was doing step. Fortunately, I my Sister-In-Law saw me so I couldn't walk out. turns out it wasn't a bad class. It kicked my ass, I was exhausted after, and I burned 899 calories by the time class was over. So I'm pretty damn happy and I'm going to take a nap now. lol because at heart I am a lazy ass. Have a fantastic weekend all!

Weight Watchers Meeting and weigh in

I actually made it to my meeting today. I was going to go in whether I showed a weight loss or not. You all know how incredibly frustrated I've been that I've been showing gains when I've been working so hard at the gym. In hindsight, I can see that while I was working really hard at the gym, I was slacking a bit with my food. An example would be, Well, I worked really hard at the gym, so it's okay if I have another serving of this rice/pasta/cookie/... well you get the idea. It really was an unconscious thing on my part and this week I started paying attention to what I was doing and am trying to curb this new habit. Now that I'm aware of what I'm doing, I think I'll start seeing better results.


I also spent 3 hours on Thursday dancing. I had so much fun and even consumed alcohol. The very first time that I've drank more than 1 alcoholic drink in a sitting since I started WW. It was well worth the points and I'm pretty sure I burned whatever calories I consumed that evening just from all the hip action I was doing anyway. The salsa and cha-cha are awesome that way.

On to my results... I'm down .8 lbs. So yay, finally. Here's hoping July will have more awesome results. When I look back at teh last 2 months, I've only shown a 4.4 lb loss, I should have lost twice that amount and did the first 4 months of the year.

Oh, I also joined Amy's 15 week challenge I did really well during the BLB2 so I'm really looking forward to this challenge.

I'm heading to a Total Body Workout class at the Y that starts at 9:30. I'm actually excited to go to this class. No step but lots of exercises that work ALL my problems areas!

Wednesday Recap.

I was too tired to post last night. I did the Total Body Workout again. It’s a 75 minute class and the step was involved again. I almost fell twice! I was exhausted even before the workout began, so I think that may have been why I was extra clumsy last night. After the second time of almost going down, I almost walked out… but then the instructor almost fell of her step too. So I felt much better, because if the instructor can almost fall then it pretty much can happen to anyone not just the overweight folks like me! It was a total ass-kicking workout. There was new equipment in the studio and the instructor decided that all must be used. I liked doing something different and this morning different parts of my body are sore! I am shocked that I’ve stuck to this step class for 4 weeks now. Remember when I hated it in the beginning and swore I’d never do it again? I have changed my tune. While I still dislike the step, I really love the results. I feel stronger and I burn a ton of calories.

I am not going to the gym tonight. I am however going to get a workout. I’m going to a Salsa night at a local bar. My Zumba instructor is going to be giving dance lessons at 7 and then we’ll be salsa-ing for the rest of the night. It’s exercise with alcohol. How awesome is that?! I won’t be staying until it closes, I do have to work tomorrow, but I will show up and have some fun, in a cute “little black dress” that hasn’t fit me in years and is now actually a loose… so I need to wear it quick before it’s too big to wear. As soon as it falls off of me it’s getting sent to good will, because I will not be that size again!!!

Yes, I’m feeling good about my workouts and food and results again. I’ve been really aware of what types of foods I’m eating and how much sodium is involved in it. I’ve pretty much doubled my fruits and vegetables intake and subtracted the amount of carbs I’m eating. I’ll never be a low carb kind of girl, but I have figured out eating a large amount of carbs after a workout really does waste the workout. Last night I ate a chicken enchilada and Mexican rice and refried beans for dinner… but my portion was so darn reasonable that when I got on the scale this morning I show that all my gained weight of the last 3 weeks is gone! And I’m currently sporting a loss. Yay me! I’m also really excited because I have definition in my arms. Finally! They aren’t where I want them yet, but I’m heading in the right direction.

I’m also preparing for another interview. I really want this job, if I don’t do well in the interview and I end up not getting this job, I think I’ll be crushed. The job I interviewed for would have been ok to get, so when I didn’t get it I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be, but this one… I’d be working for someone I really respect. I should hear something by next week. Think good thoughts for me. I need all the help I can get.

Have a great day everybody, I’ll be back tomorrow… hopefully with pictures from dancing.

Another great day...

I have managed to pull two on program days in a row. I feel so much better knowing that I'm right on the money with food, with no deviations. I even managed to get all my fruits and veggies today. I had salad for dinner and then had strawberries and bananas for dessert!

I got a great workout too. It was Zumba! Tonight we got to do The Tango. It was fun. I totally sucked at it, but I liked learning something new.

I'm exhausted tonight. I can barely concentrate right now. I need a good night's sleep. It's been really hard sleeping at night because I can't sleep on my right side anymore. My shoulder hasn't gotten any better either. I don't want to go back to the Dr. because the next step is a shot in my shoulder and that is so not on mu list of things to do this summer!

Monday much better...

Food today was sooooo much better. I actually started my day with oatmeal and then I also had a scrambled egg. Lunch was also dinner. I had a buffalo chicken wrap. I asked for grilled chicken instead the breaded. It was so good and I had the other half for dinner.

I also did Total Body Workout today with a new instructor who does no "do" step, so in other words, the workout was so awesome and I'm exhausted from it. The instructor's regular day is Saturday, so I have a new day for exercise, because I really like Tiffany.

My A/C, which has not been working for the last 3 days is now working! So I'm in a much better mood now.

Everything has gone out the window

My food and exercise has been pretty horrible this weekend. I totally suck. For some reason my body keeps holding water. I've been watching my sodium intake, I only drink water and tea, and I exercise like a fiend and yet for two weeks running I have gained weight. I did not go to my weight watcher meeting again! Starting Saturday morning I started eating and basically did not stop until about 20 minutes ago. I'm frustrated was frustrated because I'm gaining and then I make matters worse by eating like I used to. I'm turning it around this week. I'm so done feeling sorry for myself and not doing the things that I need to do.

News from the Dr.

So I have a diagnosis. I have torn my miniscus on my right knee and I have rotator cuff tendonitis in my right shoulder. The Dr. said the good news is I am young so I can heal my injuries with strength exercises and over-the-counter anti-inflammatory medications. Oh and I have to change the way I sleep, which btw, how the hell am I going to do that. I am a side sleeper, I don't know how sleep any other way!

I did make it to total body workout after the Dr. Between Zumba in the morning and total Body Workout in the evening I burned almost 1400 calories! I ate a little bit more for dinner than I usually would but still well within my points. Today has been a wonderfully producitve day. I wish every day could be as good as today has been. Alas, I return to work tomorrow, so my great day has to come to an end.

I did not work today!

I have had a pretty great day and the only thing I have done is Zumba! Well, I slept until 8 AM. I'm usually up by 4:30 on the week days in order to make it to work by 6 AM. So that felt great! Then I dropped the kid off at my brother's so she could swimm for the day. Then I went to the Y and took the Wendnesday morning Zumba class. I feel fantastic. I'm now home. I made a turkey sandwich and had fresh strawberries and now I'm about to take a shower and then I'm finally heading to the Orthopedic Dr. to get not only my knee checked out but my shoulder too. So hopefully I'll get an anti-inflammatory and all this pain will go away! So that's my day so far. I have plans to go back to the why later tonight to take the total body workout class. I'm trying really had to lose the weight I gained last week. I'm hoping the extra workouts help.

Monday Recap

I made my lunch to day. Turkey sandwich, fat free chocolate pudding and a banana. Lunch time rolls around and I open my lunch bag, and my sandwich is missing! I store my lunch in a fridge that everyone on the floor uses, so assumed that somone stole my sandwich. I was so mad. I ended up buying a half a turkey sndwich from the cafeteria. When I get back to my desk. I have a text from my kid. "Did you forget a sandwich on the counter this?" Oops. I felt bad for assuming I worked with food thieves, but it was pretty funny when I admitted my mistake. The kid ate my sandwich for me so it didn't go to waste.

I did Total Body Workout tonight. Burned almost 800 calories. I think I missed the 800 mark because there were so many people in class that the instructor decdied against the walking lunges... for which my sorry knee thanked her. The knee is getting better, which has casued me to procrastinate making a Dr. appointment. I know I have to go, but I'll feel stupid going to the Dr and having them tell me nothing is wrong. I always feellike a hypochonriac when that happens. And yes, it's happened more than once.

Anyway, food and exercise were good today. I'm tired and looking forward to getting a good night's sleep!

Meeting goals

So, I set goals for myself this week hoping that they would help me stay on track and succeed this week. Let's just say, I don't think I am meant to havew specific goals because I pretty much failed at every one this week. Including on the scale where I am up over a pound!

I wanted to exercise at least 6 days this week, and I failed that one pretty much on day 1 when I did not exercise Saturday or Sunday. The best I could hope for was 5 days, which I did accomplish, knee injury and all. The knee, btw, is better but not healed. I've been debating whether or not I should go to a Dr. because it is better but not perfect. The icing has helped it greatly.

Another goal I had was no BLT's... okay so this one wasn't so bad. I didn't actually do any BLT's. If I wanted it I ate a whole portion! Which might not have been such a good idea in hind sight!

Cooking every night? Yeah, so did not happen. I cooked one night and then ate leftovers. Twice this week I ate at Panera Bread. I had salad and half a sandwich so not like I made horrible choice, but I did not cook, so this one was a fail!

Eat 4 servings of fruits and veggies? I think I nailed this one. I love fruits and veggies so this one was an easy goal to reach.

The no soda goal? I failed on that one too. I only had 1 coke zero over the week. And I don't even like Coke Zero! I'm a fully loaded Coca Cola drinker.

Last night I ended up having a bit of a melt down. I've been retaining major water the last two days and I ended up gettin gon the scale about 8 PM last night and saw a HUGE! gain like 10 lbs. THe scale actually said 220. I threw in the towel was like I m so not going to weigh in. This water weight is a joke. You need pie right now. Remember that pie I made earlier in the week? I ate another piece and then after that I had Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup w/ hot fudge and bananas. And I ate a frozen meal for dinner last night. (The teen stayed the night at my brother's house so I didn't need to cook for her and I was lazy) The only thing I can say that is positive is that I only ate one serving of the icecream instead of the whole container... which is what I would have done this time last year. So my binge eating isn't really binge eating so much anymore. It's more like I'm making a consciuos decision to eat all this but let's not make it too horrible, mmmkay?

So this week? No goals. I'm going with the flow, trying to heal my knee, make better eating choices, and getting out of the house more to do it. Which might sound like goals but not because it's not really specific or rigid where I'll feel like I have failed. Ya know?

How has everyone else's week gone? Any success?

Knee Status

The knee is actually feeling a bit better today. It might be because I just got done icing it though, so we'll have to wait and see how it is about Noon. I'm retaining water like crazy. To the tune of 4 lbs right now. I'm attributing this to my knee as well, since my right leg seems to be about twice the size of my left leg right now.

Also, my food and exercise have pretty much been all all week. Except for a small piece of Peanut Butter pie. Recipe from this woman. I made it two days ago and had to at least try it, especially after my daughter and niece said over and over AND over again just how awesome the pie was. And it was. Incredibly awesome. And so rich a small piece really satisfied and I never felt the need to go back and shove my face in it again. lol

I did exercise yesterday. Elliptical 35 minutes. It took about 3-4 minutes on it before my knee stopped bothering me, but once it did I was okay. The hardest part was actually stepping off once I was done becasue that required bending the knee. I'm calling the Orthopedic Dr today to see if he can squeeze me in. I need an anti-inflammatory. Pain meds would be nice, but not required as long as my knee gets fixed.

Oh, and last night was SYTYCD! Awesome show. I love the dancers. They were all excellent. It's going to be hard to see anyone from this group go home! Anyway, that's all that's going on here.

Zumba and the knee

I did Zumba and Abs last night. There were a few moves in Abs I had to not do because my knee just can't bend without pain. Oblique work wasn't nearly as beneficial as it has been on past days. I can't do a child's pose either. It' puts to much pressure on the knee and also the whole bending thing. Zumba wasn't too bad. I couldn't do any lunges and I was a little hesitant on some of the more twisty moves, but I still got a great workout in. My instructor was very insistent about me icing my knee (as a few other people were here and other places) so I went home and iced my knee and it felt a lot better. I iced it again this morning, but it's still bothering me today. I'm not going to do Total Body Workout tonight. I am going to the gym though. I'm going to do the elliptical but probably only for 30 minutes or so.

Food so far today has been good. Oatmeal and eggs this morning (not together, that would be gross). I made my lunch so I'm having a turkey sandwich, Sugar Free chocolate pudding, and WW string cheese. I think I'm making spaghetti for dinner, but using ground turkey instead of ground beef (not a fan of italian sausauge so no making fun of my spaghetti choices)

Exercise, injury, and more!

You know how I've been bitchin' about my knee on and off for like the entire time I've been writing this blog? Well, I've gone and screwed it up even more. I took a total body workout class last Wednesday and did walking lunges. They burned in a good way, the next two days I noticed my knee was causing me some issues but still exercised on it anyway (Hello! Yes I am a dumbass) I took Saturday and Sunday off. No exercise but my knee got worse, so what did I do today? I went to total body workout again, and did more walking lunges and step. The step part hurt more than the lunges and I can no longer go up steps without pain in my right knee, but I could do the lunges relatively easy. GO figure. I burned 803 calories in the class. So awesome! I can only imagine how much more I would burn if my knee wasn't in pain.

Food, I did really well with today. I had oatmeal and 2 eggs for breakfast. For lunch I had vegetable soup and crackers. Snack consisted of a banana and a granola bar, and dinner ate up the rest of my points with chicken fettucini. So yummy and worth every single point it took. With as much exercise as I got in tonight, I'm waaay ahead. Woot!

I'm exhausted tonight, and looking forward to a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is Zumba and I'm so not missing it. I should be okay because Zumba has no steps. Steps are at work and I think I'll give myself a break by taking the elevator instead of the steps. I looked pretty funny today going down and holding on to the rail for dear life. It took me at least twice as long to go down as it normaly does.

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The results are in...

-1.4

I think those results are quie good, especialy because I was a little lazy with my food this week. I made a few poor choices, but exercised 5 days this week that counter acted those food choices. So this week, I'm going to have goals that I'd like to accomplish.

1) No BLT's this week... especially no spoonfuls of hot fudge
2) Exercise at least 6 days this week
3) Cook dinner every night to avoid sodium from frozen meals
4) Eat at least 4 servings of fruits and veggies every day
5) No soda of any kind. Drink of choice is either water or tea

It looks like I'm going to be heading to CA for a vacation in August. When I went last year, I had just quit smoking and hadn't started Weight Watchers or the gym yet. So I was huge, eating badly, and couln't breathe. I visited with lifelong friends. I actually let them see me at my largest! I can't wait to go back there as a completely different person... even if I'm not quite where I want to be weight wise. I have about 10 more weeks and I would love to lose 10 more lbs. Well I'd really love to lose 20! but I'd be happy with 10. So I have a goal in sight. I'm shooting for 10 lbs and for every lb after that 10 that I lose I get to but a new outfit for my Cali vacation! I could end up with a lot of kick ass clothes.

Thursday Repeat, Uh Recap

I am happy that I actually made it to the gym last night, but a little disappointed that I could only muster a measley 35 minutes of exercise in on the elliptical. I was feeling pretty lazy yesterday and sore. Did I mention sore? I'm actually more sore this morning than yesterday. Those walking lunges and squats shredded my legs. I mean it's two days later and I'm still bitching about them. I'm beginning to think I might have to swallow my hate for step and suck it up just for this walking lunges. *sigh* I'll have to think hard about this...

Food wise, things are okay. Most days I actually have been feeling very piggy, but the scale keeps showing losses (even if at this moment it's a very small but respectable loss) so I guess I'm doing better than I think but definitely not as good as I could be. I didn't feel like cooking last night, so I went over to my Parents house and had them feed us. It was chicken enchiladas, So very yummy! I only had one and didn't add anything crazy like sour cream or guacamole, so that while the food tasted sinful it was actually pretty low point value at 6 points. And the best thing? I did not take a fully loaded soda from their fridge! Okay it might have been becasue they didn't have anymore coke, but I refused the Dr. Pepper and the Root Beer. Soda is a weakness of mine so I'm pretty happy.

Exercise is on the menu again for tonight because weigh in is tomorrow and I want to scale to to continue its downward direction.

Wednesday's exercise

I took a total body workout class last night. The verdict? I hated it more than any other exercise class I've taken before. The Total Body Workout has a large section working on a step. As in Step Aerobics, as in something the uncoordinated should NEVER be involved in. I am one of the uncoordinated. I tripped twice and could not follow the instructor at all. I ended up spending most of the time doing lunges off of the step while everyone else was doing around the world crap. Now there were other parts to the class that were okay. Walking lunges and squats, arm curls witha body bar, and some inner and outer thigh work. I was cool with all that, but that step just frustrated the hell out of me. My S-I-L was like you look so angry! And I'm all, well yeah. I hate this class, why would I look happy during it?

Afterward, I ruined my workout because I ate vanilla icecream with hot fudge. All those AP's I earned went for that yummy dessert. Tonight, I'll be on my best behavior.

Honestly it was a solid workout. I burned some serious calories, but I'm quite happy to be heading back to my elliptical tonight. Yay, I get to watch Oprah... even if it's a repeat (I actually have no idea if it's a repeat or night, I'm just assuming!)

This morning I was late getting into work because I had to get two new tires put on my car. I had major thread showing on the front tires and I was too scared to drive 30 freeway miles on them knowing I was at a huge risk for those babies to blow on me. So now I have new safe tires and the car drives so much better. And I got the tires put on really fast so I was at work by 8AM.

Tuesday Recap

No different than every other Tuesday I've had for the last 9 months! Abs and Zumba. I love class as usual. My sister in law did go to class with me so that was kind of cool. I wore my HRM and was surprised when after an hour and half it said I'd on;y burned 487 calories. I was actually pretty upset until on the way way I remembered that I'd actually taken a beta blocker because I was having palpitations and the beta blocker fixes that, but also keeps my heart rate down, so even though I worked really hard and could barely speak afer some of the dances my calorie burn was crappy. Today should be better. My s-i-l convicned me to take a total body workout class with her. Me+TBW= not happy. I'd rather do my elliptical but quid pro quo and all that. I have to go and do what she wants as she did what I wanted last night. I'm kind of glad she only has a two week trial membership at my gym because I can't wait to be able to go back to MY schedule.

Best Laid Plans and all that BS...

I had a plan yesterday, and it completely went to sh*t! I was going to get to the gym at 4 and put in 2 hours of hard work, so the teen could swim at the pool for 2hours. Turns out, I forgot it was MOnday, and therefore my day to visit my Aunt at the nursing home. I left work at 2:30 and then went the wrong way, so wasted 10 minutes getting myself turned around and headed towards the nursing home instead of heading home. Put me in a horrible mood!

After I left my Aunt, my daughter calls and asks me to go to JC Penney's to pick up a second bathing suit for her. She just got a brand new one, but she wanted to other one she tried on the other day. So I cave (yes, sometimes it is just easier to do that than argue of a trivial thing like a bathing suit) head to JC Penney only to find out they are all out of size small, so another bit of time wasted! My level of frustration just went up another level. I can't even explain why I was so upset over how my afternoon went. I had a total emotional breakdown. Tears, anger, sadness the whole thing was absolutely ridiculus.

I ended up not getting home until 4:30. I was really upset about this and almost decided to not go to the gym at all. I decdided that would be a huge mistake, so I quickly got dressed, dropped the kid off at my brother's so she could go swimming and finally! get to the gym at 5 PM. I did 62 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes of strength training (arms only) and felt fantastic afterward. My mood completely changed. Gone were the tears and the negative self talk. I have a few things that I need to change in my life and I'm trying, but the bottom line is my life may be a little boring but it's still a pretty darn good life to have. I learning how to be happy. I will get there someday soon.

In NSV news, I bought a size 14 pair of pants this weekend. They totally fit and don't look horrible or anything. That encouraged me to pull out my 14 from the closet and about half of them are wearable. I can totally button all of my size 14 pants but some of them give me a major muffin top! But that's so not the point. The point is I am basically a 14 now! Super excited. Must do more crunches. Need tighter abs and I need this abdominal fat to go away!

Tonight is my favorite exercise day of the week. I get 30 minutes of Abs and then Zumba!

OMG! You mean hard work does pay off?

It's been an excellent week. I worked really hard at the gym, did not go out to a restaurant for food this week, limited soda intake, drank a large amount of water (I'm a big fan of the stuff) and it all paid off people! I am down! A lot!



-3.8

How awesome is that? My goal for next week is 2 lbs. 2 lbs will take me into the last 10 lbs of the 200's. I have about 5 lbs to go before I finally start losing "new weight". That will be all kinds of awesome! Here's to another week of hard work and fantastic successes!

The Weight Watchers meeting this week was all about motivation. I'm so glad I still have mine and even if I didn't I'm in that mindset where I do just have to do it. Thank you A cake for a wife for your post on motivation this week as well.

Thursday Exercise Recap

I did go to the gym again and I did do the elliptical but about 30 minutes in I felt awful. A little dizzy and a whole lot tired. It was a little weird, so I got off the elliptical and finished my water and then got on the treadmill so I could keep watching Oprah (it was The Biggest Loser repeat) For the first 10 minutes I could not walk faster than 2.1. I felt better after that so I was able to speed up a bit and before I knew it Oprah was over and I could go home. BTW, I liked the show Susie was funny. I hope she lost her baby weight!

I think I got that way because I have exercised everyday since Sunday and I don't usually do that. I usually take Thursdays off and my body as all WTF? I'm supposed to be napping right now! Hello? What are you doing to me? So I'm going to have to re-evaluate how much work I'm doing during the week so I don't feel like that again.

To Weigh or Not to Weigh

I am a daily weigher. It’s the first thing I do in the morning and usually the last thing I do at night. I don’t always like what I see on the scale, but I do try to keep myself from overreacting to what number I am shown each day. I know that possible overreaction is the reason why many people disagree with this habit, but for me it works.

When I weighed in the 150’s I weighed myself everyday and then one day I hit the 160's and I decided I didn’t want to see what the number on the scale said, so I stopped weighing and 6 months later when I braved the scales I was almost 200 lbs, which kept me from the scale for quite sometime and well. Lather, rinse, repeat until I found myself weighing in at over 250 lbs! I wonder if I’d kept up the habit of weighing everyday, if I’d have let myself get so heavy. I can’t change the past, but I can do something about today and about tomorrow. So, I weigh daily to keep myself in check and I always know if I’m on the right track or if I need to do something different to get the scale moving in the downward direction.

With all that being said, I saw a number on the scale today that I am liking very much. I might actually get a loss this week. Woo-Hoo!

What kind of weigher are you and why?

Wednesday's Exercise

I am on a roll. I did 60 mintes on the elliptical yesterday and burned a little over 600 calories according to my HRM. My daughter for the first time in the 9 months I've been going to the Y decided she wanted to go with me so she could swim. Honestly, I think she just wanted to show off her bathing suit more than anything else, it's very cute and perfect for a teenager. I took her and my niece and my niece's neighbor there and of course, there was nothing but thunder, lightening and pouring rain, so the pool was closed! So the kids played basketball while they waited for me to be done with my workout. They are cool kids, to be so patient. Of course the b-ball helped, I'm sure.

I went to dinner at my parents house again. It is so nice not to have to cook! It was spaghetti though. One of my favs! I limited myself to a small plate of it... probably a serving and half. Which, believe me, for me? That is awesome, because I could tear spaghetti up!

The plan for tonight, includes the elliptical again while watching Oprah. They are running the Biggest Loser episode again. I missed 90% of it last time, so I'm looking forward to it. And then I am cooking dinner. I'm making BLT's. I have some bacon that needs to be used. I'll probably do a salad too, because I love my veggies!

Oh, I have a lunch date on Saturday. Yikes, it's been so long since I've been on a date, I hope I don't make an ass out of myself. ;)

Tuesday's Recap!

Yesterday was crazy busy. I had to go and visit my Aunt Mary at the nursing home. I usually go on Mondays but didn’t have to because it was Memorial Day so she spent much of the weekend at home with the family. Anyway, back to visiting her on Tuesday, my sister usually takes Tuesdays but started a class last night and knew she had to do school stuff so she ask me to cover her shift. I said no problem… really what was I going to say, I love my Aunt Mary. I was at work when I realized that my daughter had an ortho appointment at the same time I was supposed to be at my Aunt’s. She could not miss the appointment because I had already rescheduled it once before because I had Aunt Mary duty and forgot about the ortho appointment. Thank goodness, my lil bro is a good guy who has not left for Virginia yet for his summer job, because he picked her up and took her to the appointment and then took her to Jack in The Box for a milk shake, truly the best milkshakes evah! I’m sure I would have caved if I’d gone there, so I am so glad I did not have to deal with that temptation!

After spending some time with my Aunt, I drove home, cooked dinner. Awesome turkey kielbasa with peppers and tomatoes. Honestly, I don’t even need the kielbasa, I love the veggies over rice… I usually only eat a few pieces of the kielbasa so it’s a pretty low point meal, I think it’s 6 points per serving (not at home to verify).

After I finished cooking dinner, I turned it all off and ran off to my Abs and Zumba class. After doing Zumba on Monday, Tuesday’s class kicked my butt! My abs are sore, especially my oblique’s (is that how it’s spelled??? Too lazy to look it up!) and my arms. Tracy, our instructor was telling before class started that we’d be doing some new moves that Janine the other instructor uses because they worked muscles that Tracy does not normally work during her routines. She warned me I’d be saying ouch before the night was over… and I was, but in a good way. Oh and I burned 591 calories in Zumba. I think we had a few more breaks in between songs than usual.

Today, my shoulders are so very tired. Tonight, when I head to the gym, I will not be working my arms. Two days in a row of working the arms is one day too many! And we didn’t even use weights! Just keeping them up and out and above the heart… well and Monday we used a body bar. Both of the Zumba instructors have incredible arms. Well defined and toned arms. I want that, so whatever they tell me to do, I’m doing. I’ve already lost almost 2 inches on my upper arms, so I’m heading in the right direction.

Oh and one more thing, one of the ladies who takes the class with me hasn’t been in for about 6 weeks and when she came in last night, she looked at me and was like WOW, you look awesome! You’re getting all kinds of skinny (which was hysterically funny because she’s like 70 so it was funny hearing her talk like a teenager). And here is the NSV… I said Thank you, I’ve lost almost 40 lbs. And that was it. I didn’t add anything about having a long way to go or anything that would diminish my accomplishment. I’m learning!

I did not get home from Zumba until almost 8 PM. I ate a small bowl of my dinner… which is also an accomplishment because when I make this dinner I always want to eat like 3 bowls of this stuff! I talked to my kid for a little while and then I went to bed. It was a long day. Hopefully today will be much calmer.

Monday Workout

Ahhh, it's been wonderful not having to work today. I was thrilled when my gym was actually open for half a day and that a Zumba class on the schedule. So Awesome! It was a Zumba class that had interval training incorporated into it, so we did two arm routines and one routine for the thighs. Can I get an ouch. I can barely lift my arms, I'm pretty sure it's going to be worse tomorrow. I wore my HRM and it said that I burned 661 calories!

Fo food today, I started out with a slim fast shake with a banana blended in. So yummy (I know that's crazy to say! but it totally was) I was full until about 1 PM when I made a ham and cheese sandwich (I toasted it and added no condiments) and had 3 reduced fat chips ahoy (it was the last 3 cookies, so not buying htem ever again, they are way too tempting) and a glass of 1% milk. For dinner, I'm eating over at my Mom's house. There will probably be salad and some kind of BBQ. My Mom knows that I'm doing WW so there should be chicken. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm feeeling really good about being back on track. I really want to get this weight off. I have 15 lbs until I reach my next mini goal and I want to reach it before I hit my one year lose-aversary in mid-July.

Reckoning

I did go to weigh in yesterday. The results were up and I have no one to blame but myself. I have let tracking slip, my fruits and vegetable intake has been low and my exercise has been okay. And yesterday, I had fast food for the first time in 6 months! I did not eat a cheesburger though. I had a turkey blt, which was horrible and greasy and I'm pretty sure I won't have a desire to hit fast food for a long while. I'm up +1.4 lbs, so this week I have to do something different. I'm thinking all the BLT's need to go away this week.

I'm about to head to the grocery store to pick up tons of fresh fruit and veggies. I'm planning on making smoothies today and tomorrow for sure (yay for no work!) I'll try for the rest of the week as well, but no gaurantees because I'm pretty busy during the week, with my workouts... because I am totally upping htem this week. I'm realy happy that I'm goign to get Zumba twice this week. My Y will be open tomorrow and will be offereing a Zumba class at 10:45 and then I get my regular Tuesday night class.

This week will be different. I am not going to backslide. I have worked too damn hard to get this weight off of me. I can't stop now, when I am finally starting to see a difference in my body from last year. I want a new wardrobe, I want to be fit, I want to be able to go to an amusement park and not be out of breath from walking around, or be bright red and sweaty when it's only 70 degrees while there! And I really want to be able to go back home and have my friends say wow you look good... and not what the hell happened to you? as happened last year when I visited (I was at my all time high and look and felt horrible!) So yeah, this week will be different.

I hope everyone enjoys the Memorial Day. We are expecting rain, so I'm not sure if my plans are going to happene or not, but I'm sure I'll spend the day with family.

Tuesday Zumba!

I had an abs class and Zumba tonight. Once again I used my HRM. I had a goal to burn an extra 1000 calories a day, but only got in 850 calories today. I'm going to take that and be happy about it. I'll try to make up that 250 calories tomorrow. I really like my HRM it keeps me motivated at the gym.

As for food, I've been much better this week than the previous two weeks. Making my lunch is really helpful, and keeps me from overeating in the cafeteria because it's not about the choices of food I'm making but rather the amounts that I'm consuming. When I bring my food I have much more control about the amounts of food. I'm really hoping for a good number on the scale this week. Some of you may have noticed that I failed to report a weigh in on Saturday... mainly because I did not go to my Weight Watchers meeting to weigh in because I had too much sodium and too many cookies throughout the week. This week, is totally different.

True Blood

Look what is being released today!!! I'm so stopping on my way home from work today to pick this up. So Awesome! I have weatched most of this season, but ended up missing the last few because I do not pay for HBO and my free subscription ended. But what I watched was awesome and stuck as true to book 1 as anyone fan could have expected. It will be a vampire weekend for me for sure.

Shred + Gym =

lots of calories burned! I used my new handy dandy HRM today. I did Shred first and burned over 250 calories during the 20 minute Level 1 workout. I felt pretty good about that. I did make a goal for myself to burned at least 1000 calories a day doing exercise, so I still had a lot of work to do. I got myself to the Y and did 65 minutes on the elliptical and worked hard. I was sweaty and tired by the time that 65 minutes was over and when I looked at my calories burned count total I had burned 1005 calories. And the best thing... I didn't then ruin all that hard work by over-eating anything. I hada salad and a lean cuisine (I know! but I was too lazy to actually cook dinner tonight) and then for dessert I had 3 reduced fast Chips Ahoy with 1% milk. So yummy. So how has everyone elses day gone?

New Toy!

Polar F4 HRM

I can't wait to try this out. I feel like I've been flaking on everything... even though that is probably an exaggeration. I've been really curious lately as to how many calories I burn when I exercise. So I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow when I try it out.

Before and After

A while ago... like in March I took some picture to show to go with a before and after pic. I'm just now getting around to it after I've lost at least another 5 lbs, but I'm too lazy to go put something cute on to take another picture... besides I'm feeling fat today and that's never good for picture taking. The exception being my workout picture below. The goal of that picture was to show me in all my glistening glory. lol So here is the picture from July 08 and then another of the me from March 09.

July 08

March 2009

Shred Again

It really becomes easy to not do exercise. I didn't do Shred on Friday and had to really work to convince myself to do Shred today. I'm don't know what is wrong with me! Anyway, I did accomplish Level 1 today and even took a picture of what I look like right after completing Shred. It does not matter what level I do, I always feel totally worn out... and really good because Shred is an accomplishment. I'm sticking to Level 1 for a while, it seems to be the easiest on my knees.

So here I am in all my Shredded glory.

The Return of The Shred

I went back to Shred today. I did however, drop back down to Level 1 as I did not think I would survive Level 3. I barely survived Level 1! I foloowed natalie for the most part though. The only thing I could not was push ups. I did 3 regular push ups before I had to drop to my knees. When I first started Shred I could not even do 1 regular push up so I call that progress. lol

I went to dinner with my family tonight and had pasta. I ate a little less than 1/2 which was probably 1/4 too much, but since I do not do it that often I felt it was well worth it. I even gave the leftovers to my brother to take home so I would not be tempted to snack. I'm currently hungry, so I'd say it's a good thing I didn't let the leftovers come into my home!

Tuesday Zumba!

My regular instructor was not there tonight, which was a bummer, but meant that I got to see the other Zumba instructor that I really like. I hadn't seen her sonce December and she was amazed at how much my body had changed. So, I was feeling really good about that. I even said Thank You very much... it's hard to accept compliments but I'm trying to acknowledge how far I've come and appreciate that others notice.

Back to Zumba class. OMG, I hope I'll be abl to walk tomorrow. Tonight's instructor is more fitnessy than the regular girl (who is very dancey and awesome). Anyway, she kicked my ass, in the Jillian way. squats, lunges, plyometrics (Oh my!) I'm toast.

When I got home from Zumba, I watched The Biggest Loser. I was really surprised at who won. I never would have expected that person, EVAH!

Tomorrow... I'm going back to Shred.

Well, I'm here...

I have not done Shred since Thursday. Well that’s not exactly true I started Shred on Saturday but stopped at the 3rd circuit (Who does that? Me apparently) and I have not gone back to it since. My only excuse is that I am lazy. Except, not really because I still go to the gym, I just lost my motivation. I have Zumba tonight and then I’m going to attempt to get back into the Shred habit again.

There is nothing interesting going on in my life so I have not had the urge to blog. I’m still eating pretty well, so even though I have not been doing that extra 20 minutes of hard core exercise I’m sure I’ll continue to lose weight. If I go by history, this week will be a small loss because last week’s was a really good loss for me.

Anyway, I’m alive and kicking… not doing much except reading this:



And getting ready to read my Mother’s Day Gift:


My kid knows me well. And because I have been reading, I wonder if that might have anything to do with my inability to turn the DVD on at home? Hmmm, I started reading Turn Coat about the time I stopped doing Shred. I better hurry and read faster!

One of my favorite things

My favorite place to go after my Weight Watchers meetings. I go every Saturday after I weigh in. I love and adore their breakfast foods. For those who do not live in St. Louis, you might know this place as Panera. Today, I ordered my usual and they screwed the order up and gave me a sausage breakfast rather than the bacon. I am not a fan of sausage so I was pretty bummed. I look forward to my weekly indulgance... so I ate my daughter's chocolate pastry instead. Shhh, she won't know she's still asleep.

Does anyone else have a special place they go to after they weigh in?

Weekly Weigh In...

-1.8

I'm feeling really good about my results. I think I might actually have a comfortable summer in St. Louis this year. Last year was miserable and this year I'm well on my way to being almost 50 lbs lighter (which is where I want to be by the 4th of July) I'm pretty sure I'll get there or get pretty close to it at any rate. So Yay me! Have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all you Mother's out there!

Lazy days

I'm a lazy, lazy girl! I'll get back on track tomorrow. I've done really well this week with food (other than the chili dog incident) and I've kicked butt on exercise this week. Today has been the only day since last Friday that I haven't done some form of exercise. I think that's pretty darn successful. I'm hoping for a good loss on the scale tomorrow... or well any loss actually. I feel like I've earned a loss. I want to so badly to get under 200. I should get there by summer *fingers crossed* I haven't been under 200 in a very long time. I haven't been at a normal weight since Christmas of '99 and I just want to be normal like that again.

Anyway, I'll let you know how weigh in goes tomorrow!

Day 15 - 30 Day Shred

I did Level 3 today! I just could not bring myself to do level 2 again. Level 3 is hard, but totally awesome. I started out following Natalie, but did end up having to follow Anita a bit and then modify a few moves (all the jumping stuff) because of my knees. But Wow! Level 3 has left me feeling good, so much better than level 2. So I think I'm sticking with Level 3 for the rest of the way.

... I'm halfway done!


I also went to the gym today, I'm working hard people! Of course, I do have to make up for the chili cheese hot dog and french fries I ate today. Breakfast and dinner were totally normal healthy food, but lunch was... well a chili cheese dog on french fries. At least I didn't add a coke to it.

Day 14 - 30 Day Shred

I completed Level 2 today. Does it ever get easier? I really do not like Level 2. I followed Natalie for everything but the rock star jumps and the plank jacks (I think that's what they are called) because my knee can not handle them. I sweat a lot during Level 2 but because I feel so lost during it, I have yet to fell like I have accomplished anything. Level 1 was far more satisfying for me. There is really not much more to say about Level 2... except that I only have to do it 5 more times and I can move on to Level 3.

Dinner anyone???

I’ve been having a hard time lately thinking of new things to cook for dinner that are healthy and low calorie. My daughter and I are not big meat eaters, which is weird considering just how much the rest of my family loves all things meat, but we just aren’t. We eat chicken… but chicken does get boring after a while. I think we eat red meat about twice a month, at the most. I need help! Are there any suggestions out there for cheap, easy and healthy dinners for someone like me and the teen?

Oh... and we do not eat seafood. Ever! You see why dinner can be difficult around my house?

Does this post really need a title???

I’ve been feeling very down lately. I’ve thought a lot about why. Some of it is because I am going through so many changes. In the last year I graduated college, quit smoking, started exercising, rejoined weight watchers, watched my “baby” start high school, turned 35, lost over 30 lbs, restarted this blog, put myself on a budget that meant rethinking how I spend money, and truly started looking for a new job. I’ve accomplished a lot since last June, but I am alone. Which means I find myself lonely.

The ex has been gone and out of my life since I was 24 and since then I have gone on dates but have never dated anyone. (Totally my fault, I let quite a few really great men go, I wasn’t ready then) I’ve been ready for someone in my life for a while now, but I have no idea how to meet people. I work for a big company, but my immediate co-workers are older women, and I look around at work and see really old men or babies just out of college. All the men my age seem to have rings on their fingers.

I recently tried an internet website and have had 2 men contact me, both of which are not for me. I’ve looked at the profiles of some of these men on this site and over and over again, I see the “women I’m looking for is fit/thin/small/tiny/athletic” etc. In other words not me, even if I lose the last 40 lbs I will never be their ideal. The best I can hope for is healthy. Please don’t get me wrong healthy is what I want for me… but seriously I wonder if there will ever be someone out there that wants me. And if there is… where the hell is he?

I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this… I’m just trying to document how I feel because this blog is supposed to be more than just my weight loss journey because I am more than just my weight loss. Sometimes it hard to remember that.

In other news, there is no Day 13 of 30 Day Shred. It is Tuesday and that means Zumba! It’s my favorite day of the work week. It usually helps me get out of these funks that I go through periodically.

Day12 - 30 Day Shred

Can I just take a moment to tell you how much I do not love Level 2 of Shred? I feel completely out of my element with many of the moves, and it has been leaving my exhausted. All of which I know is a good thing, but I really really hate feeling incompetent, and that's where I am right now with level 2. About the only thing I can say right now about Shred is that I know I'm building muscle and burning fat because I feel lightger on my feet and my arms are sore and tired. I think I should be sleeping well tonight.

Currently watching Nathan Fillion in Castle. He is hot and funny. Yum!

Day 11 - 30 Day Shred

Just a quick note to say I did Level 2 today and it kicked my ass big time. Level 2 really is a lot harder than level 1. I am going to be sticking to level 2 though, no going back to level 1 now. I want to see what Level 2 does to my measurements after 10 days.

Shred is about the only thing I accomplished today. I have been lazy ever since. I get so much more done during the week...

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