Big Changes and not so much changing

So on the weight loss front, I'm holding steady. No weight loss just maintaining. At this point that's a blessing. However there have been other bigger changes in my life that have has sginificant changes in my life.

The first of which is I have a new house guest. My cousin is an addict who was homeless about 6 weeks ago, when my Mom took put her on a plane and dragged her here to MO from CA. My Mom has a habit of taking in all the strays. eveyrone in my family, at one time or another, have lived with her as adults. My sister and her husband were also living with my Mother. A huge blow up happened between my cousin and sister and my sister lost all common sense and tried to (and kind of succeeded) in doing bodily harm to my cousin. It's not my story and I'm just so squicked out by the whole thing I don't want to talk about it. Besides the whole point to the build up is that I have let my cousin move in with me for the time being. It's a difficult transition, because she is an addict, she's trying to stay clean, she has no job, and she has a poor mee attitude. Before this week, I probably would not have let her move in, but I did because one other big thing happened to me this week.

I've been taking an Explorations class through my Church over the last few weeks. I've been going to this Church for almost exactly a year, and trying to figure out just how I feel about Religion and God. Monday's class was what they call BHQ, Big Hairy Question, night. I don't remember everything that was said, but I do know that I started crying and couldn't stop. After the class was over I talked to my brother, whi is a pastoral resident at the Church as well as a Pastor, and after speaking to them, well I prayed and accepted Jesus Christ into my life. It still makes me a bit uncomfortable talking about it, because I am not an expert, have no idea what I'm doing, and have no idea what the next step is for me. All I do know is that I'm feeling very zen this week. I'm more calm than I've been in a long time and I feel like I'm finally on God's plan.

Anyway, so no weight loss but still some life changing stuff. Tonight is Zumba, tomorrow is Zumba, and on Monday I'm getting the Coppola Keratin Complex treatment done on my hair. Straight hair easily and for free (my friend owns the salon and my hair is a training ground), I'm so there. Of course it also means that for 72 hours after that I can not exercise! Super bummed about that, but I'll jum right back on the exercise train the day after Thanksgiving. So that's my life this week. What does yours look like?

So I just erased a post...

that consisted of doom and gloom. Too many things going on and not enough time to concentrate on me anymore. I'm trying and some days work really well and some days... well some days are not. Today was a not day, but I got my kid to the Teen Ministry group at our church tonight, so at least one positive came from this day. Tomorrow is my last day with my current position. I'm really sad to be leaving before I had the chance to really accomlish anything there. My new job, should give me a ton more opportunities and I should be able to leave my mark with the organization. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And please! Stress, please go away!

Tracking and success

So food has been good all week. I've even tracked everything I've eaten all this week. And all of my food has been brought home from home. No cafeteria food or even restaraunt food. Yay me! I think I might actually have a loss this week. Exercise is normal for me... which means good. I'm pretty happy about my weight loss program this week.

Things are afoot at work again. I think I might be switching jobs again. Work would be about 15 minutes closer, the work more challenging, and there is a possibility of travel (domestic and foreign). I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but I went over and met with the group this morning and it appeared to go well... and there was the hottest guy over in the building. He'd be a joy to look at every day. lol That's all I got.

Where has the year gone?!!!

I cna't believe it's already September....anyway, you would think that since I’ve now got the internet running at home I would blog more. Alas, I am a lazy creature by nature and I am way more busy that a lazy person should ever have to be. I’m up before 5 am every morning, at work around 6 am where I put in the minimum amount of effort possible (some days it surprises me how hard I work and other days it’s a lazy woman’s dream lol) I then go home cope with a moody teen, who is in luuurrrvve with a boy, and then go and spend at least an hour, sometimes two, at the gym working extremely hard and pushing my limits. By that time it’s close to 8 PM haven’t eaten, so I have to figure that out not only for myself but for said moody teen (not an easy task), clean, do wash, feed the cats, clean up litter boxes and other assorted cat messes (some gross, some just odd. Why do cats like paper so much?) By that time I’m usually too damn tired to do more than play Mafia Wars on Facebook before I give in to sleep.

All that to say, I’m here and Alive (funny that I typed that just as I’m Alive by Flyleaf started playing on my iPod) I’m just too lazy too write a lengthy or not so lengthy post as to what is going in my life.

I did not go weigh in again. I’m a horrible Weight Watcher member. In fact, I’m so horrible I finally decided I wasn’t going to spend $40 a month for it any more. Money is a little tight and I have to start cutting corners. I haven’t been following the program for about 3 months anyway. I have the membership through Oct 3, so I’ll stick it out until then and even discipline myself enough to follow the program so I try to get my 50lb charm, I’m about 8 lbs away from it, so it will be a stretch but I want to try for it.

I haven’t given up on my weight loss, in fact I’m feeling pretty good about everything right now. The Y added another day of Zumba so I get to Zumba 3 days a week now and I try to do Total Body 2 days a week, so my exercise has picked up and while I don’t always make the best food choices, I really focus on portion control. It’s helped me a lot. I’m losing small amounts of weight, not the huge numbers I want to see, but every time the scale shows a lower number I’ve accomplished something good. We’ll see how things go once the WW monthly pass is expired if I can keep it all up on my own. I need to try.

Well that’s all I got… at least that’s all I want to talk about for now. I suck all the air out of the room when I talk about how much my life sucks because my 15 year old has a better love life than I do. ;) And I never know how to express myself well enough not to come off like a desperate middle aged woman who lives with cats when I think about relationships, so I’m just not going there. How the hell is everyone else?

Back on track

Gosh, I'm totally on track today and I wasn't even trying. I even got in a fantastic workout. According to my HRM, I burned 678 calories, and my points for the day totalled 20. Yay, I get me a dessert... or snack of some sort before I go to bed probably a banana at this point... because I'm doing so well.

Work is going really well. I like my job and who I work for. I'm learning an enormous amount of new and helpful things that will make me a huge asset to the company. So I'm pretty excited.

Oh and my Y started a new session for all its classes and they added another day for Zumba! So I get to take Zumba 3 times a week now! I'm pretty stoked about that.

I ate cake

My niece's 4th birthday was celebrated today. It was a tea party. The little girls were so adorable! There was cake and I ate it. Way yummy cake. Thank goodness this is the last birthday of the month (there have been 5) and we don't have any birthday's to celebrate until December. Birthday cake is officially off the menu for the next three months! Will post pics when the photographer loads them into the computer to share.

Week so far....

It's amazing how much a new job affects your life. I loved that I used to be able to bog everyday before the new job... but I didn't exactly love my job. I love my new job, but rarley have any time to blog.

I still exercise everyday (or almost anyway) I flaked big time on Wednesday and I missed Abs on Tuesday, but did Zumba. I havne't been doing Total Body workout this week. I normally do it twice a week, but did the elliptical instead because I was tired and I didn't want to be at the gym for two hours. So I did an hour to get something in. I need to step it up again. I miss that high I used to get from working really hard at the gym. It's probably ben two weeks since I've felt like that.

Food is not bad, not great but not bad. I've trried to get my fruits and vegetables in this week, but it never seems to be enough, and I've been eating a lot of sandwiches. I'm not usre why other than they are quick to get in the cafeteria and they are also convenient. I'm still having issues with soda. I don't drink alot (maybe 3 a week) but it's more than I want. Or rather it's more than I think I should be drinking. Believe me, I want every drop of the coca cola classic that I dirnk. ;)

I actually can't believe that it's already Friday. I have no plans for the weekend other than attending my niece's birthday party. She's turning 4 and we are having a tea party for her. I sitll have to buy a gift. Oh and I got my first pay check on the new job. The money? It's nice. So nice I'm finaly going to be able to get internet in my home. I think that might solve my blogging issues. So just a few more weeks of inetermittent blogging and then I can get my behind in gear again.

Weigh In

I made it to my Weight Watchers Meeting this week. This is a huge accomplishment for me as I have been avoiding weighing in for most of the summer and I've now gone 2 weeks in a row. The results... not too bad. I'm down 1.6 lbs this week giving me a total loss while on Weight Watchers of 40.2 lbs, and a total weight loss of almost 45 lbs. I'm very pleased with this and feeling much better about things than I have in a while. I think I've worked through the cookie issue. If I want one I'll have one, but I'm not going to continue with this daily habit. I managed to keep myself away from them after I wrote that post about them.

Work is still hectic and I'm thinking of going back for my Master's. My co-worker comes back from maternity leave the middle of Sept. and I think I'll start on my Master's in October. Wish me luck, because I know I'm going to need it!

I'm at a standstill...

I went to weigh in this morning and there was absolutely no change in my weight. Which quite frankly is a good thing considering I was dealing with cake in m house all week, thanks to the teens birthday. And on top of that a birthday dinner for my older brother at Maggiano's... a family style Italian restaurant. Talk about a carb overload. I did better than I expected there and exercised a lot. 2 nights this week, I burned over 1000 calories at the gym. (yes, I was at the gym a long time) And on top of that I completed my first week on the new job. I love it, but am feeling very overwhelmed. I've been being trained on a job that is basically back-filling while the person goes out on maternity leave. Her leave was supposed to start next week, but started yesterday when she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! Congrats to her, but boo-hoo for me as I have not been fully trained on everything yet.

I was woken up out of a dead sleep last night because someone was ringing my doorbell. My first thought was the kids were being stupid and locking each other out of the house. So I let it go, when the hit happened a second time I was all prepared to go off on someone... turns out my kids had been ding dong ditching someone else's house and they followed my kids home and told on them. Needless to say, I was pissed and now my nephew has to spend his last two days out here in MO with my parents because he's not staying with me, my daughter is grounded, for like evah! and my niece can't stay at my house for a while either. The one rule I had was not to leave the house once I go to bed, my daughter knows this, my niece and nephew know this and yet they broke the rule. I am totally an easy parent. I rarely ground my kid, I don't yell all that often. She can do pretty much whatever she wants as long as she asks me first, and 99% of the time my daughter should be like win Child of the Year. And then my nephew comes out to visit and she turns into a juvenile delinquent. Color me frustrated today. And in fairness when my nephew is not around my daughter he's a damn good kid, also a worthy candidate for COTY... maybe even more so because his home-life sucks ass big time. Anyway, I was totally embarrassed and had to crack the whip in the middle of the night and they have no idea how much worse it's going to be for them in the light of the day.

That's my week in a nutshell. How was yours?

Weigh In...

So I am down from last week. That's a good thing. I ws surprised to see 208.8 this morning actually. While I did so much better this week than the previous three, I did not do nearly as well as I expect from myself. I think it may take me a bit to get back in the groove of things but I feel like I am fianlly heading down the right path again.

My first day on the new job was yesterday. I spent most of the day settling in at my new cubicle with a staff meeting and a little training thrown in. I think I will really like my new job. I like my boss and my immediate co-worker (who is going out on maternity leave and is an e-published romance author!) Once she goes out on maternity leave I think I will be pretty busy because I really will have to learn her job, not just think I know how to do it.

My baby turns 15 tomorrow. Saying that makes me feel old, which is weird because I'm only 35! She's a beautiful young woman and I am so glad I have had the privelage of raising her. She has made my life meanignful in ways I never expected when I was a young 19 year finding out I was going to be a Mom. I hinelty didn't think I would be doing it alone and I didn't think at all about how my actions would form her and mold her into what she has become today. I still regret that I have given her my food phobias! If I'd known that would happen I would have never said on a weekly basis that I do not eat meast attached to the bone or food that comes from the sea. I severly limited her culinary experiences. lol

Anyway, that's my life as I currently know it. Have a wonderful weekend! I can't believe it's already August!

It's Wednesday already?

So here's a quick update of what's going on. I finally went grocery shopping on Tuesday, so there is food in my house and it is 99% healthy! I made breakfast before work today and I actually ate it! lol I've gotten two days of exercise in, and have plans to go again today. Wednesday laziness has gotten to me the last 3 weeks and I am determined not to let that happen to me today! I did have soda Monday night, even though my plan was not not have any this week, considering I'd been having a fully leaded soda a day the last couple of weeks, one in 4 days is pretty good.

I'm in the middle of training this week and start my new job officially on Friday. Looking forward to it, and hoping I will have more time to blog soon after.

Weigh In

Well not concentrating on my weight loss has a price. In this case it's 3 lbs. As in I am up 3 lbs! Oh hell no! Do you know how long it takes me to lose 3 lbs? Like almost a month and yet I've gained that in 2 weeks! So I vow to go grocery shopping, bring my breakfast and lunch to work every day this week. Drink only water or Ice tea and exercise more than 3 days a week. I'm shooting for 5 days. I may not be able to post my daily goings on at this blog week, but I'm going to try to blog more than once a week this week as well. I've noticed how easy I've slipped in my habits since I stopped posting on a daily basis. So here is to a kick ass week! I hope you all have had better results than I.

I'm buried!

I'm buried in real life drama. My life seems to be crazy with training new girl in old job and training me in new job, family drama, my sister's sick cat that must be fed every 2-3 hours through a feeding tube, teenager on summer break needing to be entertained, house renovations that seem to be never ending. Why in the world I started that I have no idea. I'm a little nuts! I'm still finding time to exercise, I managed to get a Total Body workout class done tonight (no Step!) And I did it with a tender back. I slept wrong Thursday night and have been in pain ever since! My food has not been the best, but I haven't slipped back into my old ways either. I'm a little bit overwhelmed and my internet time has been shortened dramatically. I'm bummed that I can't read and respond to others blogs or even post on my own blog. I think once I get my nephew back to CA, my sister's cat back to her, and my kid back to school my life will regulate again. Until then my blog posts aren't going to be consistent. *Sigh* I think what I really need is a vacation. I hope I can come up with one soon!

Oh, and my cold is finally starting to go away. I sound really nasally but my throat is not nearly as sore as it has been!

The cold that won't go away

I'm incredibly frustrated right now. I am now at one week of being sick. That's twice so far this year that I've been sick and it just won't go away. I can count one 1 hand the number of times I've been sick in the last 10 years and now that I'm getting healthy, eating right and exercising and I get sick twice in a year. That's just wrong.


Food and exercise are on plan this week. My house is still a mess. The b-i-l is taking sweet time getting my floors done, but I can't really complain as it's free labor, it's just a pain not having my house to myself. I'm a bit anti-social so I'm having a hard time with peeps in my house all the time. In fact I had to leave my home and not return until 9:30 last night just so I could get a little peace and quiet.

Anyway, that's what's going on. Hope everyone else is having a better week than me!

Weekly Weigh In...

I went to my WW meeting today. I was expecting to stay the same or gain because I did not exercise as much as normal nor did I track my food. I actually showed a small loss of 3/4 lb. So I'm happy about that and encouraged to start tracking and getting back to my regular exercise program so I can see bigger losses.

I actually spent the whole day exercising. Doing this:

Painting!

My brother-in-law is doing this for me in this room and my hallway:

wood floors... well bamboo wood anyway





I'm currently getting ready to go and see this lady at the Fox Theatre tonight:









Have a great night all!

I'm around

Last night for the first time in weeks, I took the night off from exercising. I was pretty darn sick, so I had a good excuse. I was all achey and feverish and could barely move my legs. They felt like lead! My house is in an uproar as I'm getting wood floors put in... just in the office and hallway. But hello! I walk the hallway several times a day. So it's been a little frustrating. When it's done it will be well worth it.

I'm feeling better today, but not perfect. I even went to work. Probably not a smart move for my co-workers, but oh well. It's not like I would have been able to get rest at home with all the banging going on. I've not been very good with food again. I've been saying that a lot. I don't know what's going on with me... and it's not like I'm going to fast food or eating three dinners, it's just that I've stopped tracking which has made it easier to say yes to foods I was saying no to before. My daughter and house guest will be heading out to a float trip for the weekend so I won't have to worry about feeding anyone else but myself this weekend. So I think I'll be able to find some order again... and time to get to a grocery store for my fresh fruit and vegetables. Next week, I will see a marked difference in my eating, because I have to lose this fat! There is some kick ass muscle underneath it and I want to be able to show it off! I am going to WW on Sat. I'm sure I won't enjoy the results, but I need to start over and this will be the perfect time to do just that!

I got the Job!!!

I'm so happy, I was offered the position this afternoon and I accepted. It's more money, more visibility, an I actually get to use my degree. So excited. I don't have a start date yet becasue my current manager has to release me first, but it's sometime in the next 30 days. Woo-hoo! AND I don't have to work tomorrow.

I'm here!

It's been a crazy horrible week so far. My food not nearly as good as it needs to be, my exercise has been awesome, major workouts every night this week... but that's about the only thing that has been awesome.
My sister's cats have been living with me for the last 10 months and on Tuesday morning Sarah, who was amost 16 years old died, in my house on my watch. So horrible. I cried, the kids, who found her, cried. My sister was damn near inconsolable.
Work has been crazy busy and it is driving me crazy. I also interviewed for a new position today, I think I did well but won't hear anything until sometime next week. I really hope this one works out because the job sounds like a lot of work but interesting and challenging which is what I want. So think good thoughts, okay?

I just have to get through tomorrow, and then I have a 3-day weekend, which I desperately need.

Wednesday Recap.

I was too tired to post last night. I did the Total Body Workout again. It’s a 75 minute class and the step was involved again. I almost fell twice! I was exhausted even before the workout began, so I think that may have been why I was extra clumsy last night. After the second time of almost going down, I almost walked out… but then the instructor almost fell of her step too. So I felt much better, because if the instructor can almost fall then it pretty much can happen to anyone not just the overweight folks like me! It was a total ass-kicking workout. There was new equipment in the studio and the instructor decided that all must be used. I liked doing something different and this morning different parts of my body are sore! I am shocked that I’ve stuck to this step class for 4 weeks now. Remember when I hated it in the beginning and swore I’d never do it again? I have changed my tune. While I still dislike the step, I really love the results. I feel stronger and I burn a ton of calories.

I am not going to the gym tonight. I am however going to get a workout. I’m going to a Salsa night at a local bar. My Zumba instructor is going to be giving dance lessons at 7 and then we’ll be salsa-ing for the rest of the night. It’s exercise with alcohol. How awesome is that?! I won’t be staying until it closes, I do have to work tomorrow, but I will show up and have some fun, in a cute “little black dress” that hasn’t fit me in years and is now actually a loose… so I need to wear it quick before it’s too big to wear. As soon as it falls off of me it’s getting sent to good will, because I will not be that size again!!!

Yes, I’m feeling good about my workouts and food and results again. I’ve been really aware of what types of foods I’m eating and how much sodium is involved in it. I’ve pretty much doubled my fruits and vegetables intake and subtracted the amount of carbs I’m eating. I’ll never be a low carb kind of girl, but I have figured out eating a large amount of carbs after a workout really does waste the workout. Last night I ate a chicken enchilada and Mexican rice and refried beans for dinner… but my portion was so darn reasonable that when I got on the scale this morning I show that all my gained weight of the last 3 weeks is gone! And I’m currently sporting a loss. Yay me! I’m also really excited because I have definition in my arms. Finally! They aren’t where I want them yet, but I’m heading in the right direction.

I’m also preparing for another interview. I really want this job, if I don’t do well in the interview and I end up not getting this job, I think I’ll be crushed. The job I interviewed for would have been ok to get, so when I didn’t get it I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I would be, but this one… I’d be working for someone I really respect. I should hear something by next week. Think good thoughts for me. I need all the help I can get.

Have a great day everybody, I’ll be back tomorrow… hopefully with pictures from dancing.

Monday much better...

Food today was sooooo much better. I actually started my day with oatmeal and then I also had a scrambled egg. Lunch was also dinner. I had a buffalo chicken wrap. I asked for grilled chicken instead the breaded. It was so good and I had the other half for dinner.

I also did Total Body Workout today with a new instructor who does no "do" step, so in other words, the workout was so awesome and I'm exhausted from it. The instructor's regular day is Saturday, so I have a new day for exercise, because I really like Tiffany.

My A/C, which has not been working for the last 3 days is now working! So I'm in a much better mood now.