2009 changes

Thought I would post some pictures that shows the changes in my face at least. I havne't lost a whole lot of weight since June but I've lost inches. Hope I keep it up.
March 2009... or thereabouts

Easter 2009
August 2009

September 2009

So I just erased a post...

that consisted of doom and gloom. Too many things going on and not enough time to concentrate on me anymore. I'm trying and some days work really well and some days... well some days are not. Today was a not day, but I got my kid to the Teen Ministry group at our church tonight, so at least one positive came from this day. Tomorrow is my last day with my current position. I'm really sad to be leaving before I had the chance to really accomlish anything there. My new job, should give me a ton more opportunities and I should be able to leave my mark with the organization. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And please! Stress, please go away!

Weigh in

It's been a while since I've posted any weigh in results mostly because I found myself back up to 209 before I gave myself a reality check and began correcting my behavior. I'm am back down to 206.2 as of this morning. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep it all up for this next week so I can see an almost 3 lbs loss again! It was quite a good feeling to see the scale moving again.

Life is crap.

I have handled teenage drinking and bi-curious behavior in the most awful manner. I thought I was far more tolerant than I really am. It's been a completely shitty week, and I'm not sure I like this business of being a parent to a teenager. I don't even know how to fix this huge gap between my daughter and me. It feels ike the Grand Canyon and since there are only the two of us in this house it is very quiet and extremely lonely here. I want chocolate very badly almost as much as I want to curl up in a ball and well, bawl my eyes out.

In other news, I got another new job and I start it next week. Travel is involved, which would be awesome, if it weren't for the above teenage drama. Intertnational travel is a distinct possibility. So can you tell my life is stressful? and actually through this all, I'm actually losing weight rather than gaining. haven't blown it all because of stress. So yay one good thing.

Tracking and success

So food has been good all week. I've even tracked everything I've eaten all this week. And all of my food has been brought home from home. No cafeteria food or even restaraunt food. Yay me! I think I might actually have a loss this week. Exercise is normal for me... which means good. I'm pretty happy about my weight loss program this week.

Things are afoot at work again. I think I might be switching jobs again. Work would be about 15 minutes closer, the work more challenging, and there is a possibility of travel (domestic and foreign). I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but I went over and met with the group this morning and it appeared to go well... and there was the hottest guy over in the building. He'd be a joy to look at every day. lol That's all I got.

In the interest of honesty...

I must confess that I had BBQ with the family today. There was cake. It entered my mouth. So much for kicking the sugar habit today. Tomorrow is another day. Ugh, I feel like such a loser.

And my arms, thighs, and ass are very sore. Like so sore that I'm having a hard time standing and sitting down.

I wish I had icecream. Sh*t I don't not really, well I do but Thank godness there isn't any in my house. *sigh* Tomorrow, I promise will be a better day.

I keep hoping I'll find it...

My willpower that is. I can't fiure out why I can kick all kinds of ass at the gym, In fact I've been doing 4-5 consistently for so long, that I feel pretty damn awful if I don't go to the gym. But food? Where is the girl who didn't go near fast food for 8 months? Where is the girl who used to say no to cookies, brownies, and icecream? This summer ruined me. I think I lost a total of 4.5 lbs since June. I've gained 2.4 lbs in the last 3 weeks. I'm trying to lose the sugar habit, In fact last night was the end of it for me. There isn't anything sweet left in my house. No icecream, no chocolate chip cookie, no yummy delicious brownies (those were made and eaten last night!)
I knew I was getting to this point again, so I went grocery shopping with a list and am ready for the upcoming week. Although... I already have to go back to the grocery store becuse I am out of bananas. I love bananas, I think they are the worlds most perfect fruit. So I need bananas and turkey meat, becuase I'm going back to making my lunches. Oh, and I'm getting yogurt so I can make fruit smoothies again (not for me, for my teen otherwise she doesn't eat breakfast, she's weird).

Hapy LAbor Day all! I'm off to the gym for another Zumba class, it's my 3rd class in 4 days. I'm so excited about this. I love Zumba!

Where has the year gone?!!!

I cna't believe it's already September....anyway, you would think that since I’ve now got the internet running at home I would blog more. Alas, I am a lazy creature by nature and I am way more busy that a lazy person should ever have to be. I’m up before 5 am every morning, at work around 6 am where I put in the minimum amount of effort possible (some days it surprises me how hard I work and other days it’s a lazy woman’s dream lol) I then go home cope with a moody teen, who is in luuurrrvve with a boy, and then go and spend at least an hour, sometimes two, at the gym working extremely hard and pushing my limits. By that time it’s close to 8 PM haven’t eaten, so I have to figure that out not only for myself but for said moody teen (not an easy task), clean, do wash, feed the cats, clean up litter boxes and other assorted cat messes (some gross, some just odd. Why do cats like paper so much?) By that time I’m usually too damn tired to do more than play Mafia Wars on Facebook before I give in to sleep.

All that to say, I’m here and Alive (funny that I typed that just as I’m Alive by Flyleaf started playing on my iPod) I’m just too lazy too write a lengthy or not so lengthy post as to what is going in my life.

I did not go weigh in again. I’m a horrible Weight Watcher member. In fact, I’m so horrible I finally decided I wasn’t going to spend $40 a month for it any more. Money is a little tight and I have to start cutting corners. I haven’t been following the program for about 3 months anyway. I have the membership through Oct 3, so I’ll stick it out until then and even discipline myself enough to follow the program so I try to get my 50lb charm, I’m about 8 lbs away from it, so it will be a stretch but I want to try for it.

I haven’t given up on my weight loss, in fact I’m feeling pretty good about everything right now. The Y added another day of Zumba so I get to Zumba 3 days a week now and I try to do Total Body 2 days a week, so my exercise has picked up and while I don’t always make the best food choices, I really focus on portion control. It’s helped me a lot. I’m losing small amounts of weight, not the huge numbers I want to see, but every time the scale shows a lower number I’ve accomplished something good. We’ll see how things go once the WW monthly pass is expired if I can keep it all up on my own. I need to try.

Well that’s all I got… at least that’s all I want to talk about for now. I suck all the air out of the room when I talk about how much my life sucks because my 15 year old has a better love life than I do. ;) And I never know how to express myself well enough not to come off like a desperate middle aged woman who lives with cats when I think about relationships, so I’m just not going there. How the hell is everyone else?