Wednesday, January 30, 2008

It's here!

I had the day off yesterday because I had to wait for the delivery of my treadmill. I managed to sleep until about 8 am. I then got up cleaned my kitchen, my daughter's bathroom, and did about 4 loads of laundry. Pretty productive day actually. And during all this productiveness the weather outside went from 70 degrees to about 16 degrees in an hour or so, then we got some snow and then my treadmill showed up.

It took me about 2 hours to assemble by myself.. you're supposed to have 2 people do it, but I need help from no one. I did manage to get extremely frustrated during the process, I'm not usually one for throwing things when frustrated, but only because I think about how much breaking something will cost me once my little pique of anger is over, so I'm not a thrower... but I really wanted to be one for a while last night. And then I finally finished and used it for the first hour of The Biggest Loser: Couples. I didn't even realize I'd been on the treadmill for that long. When I'm at the gym, I dread every single minute I'm on it. I think this might actually work out for me. We'll see what happens on the scale next week, I guess.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Weekly Weigh-In

Start Weight 236.5
Current Weight: 231.2
Goal Weight: 145

It's a small loss, but at least I'm heading in the downward direction. My treadmill should be delivered either today or tomorrow so adding in exercise should help the weightloss continue.

I start back at school tonight. I have a paper due that I haven't started. Hopefully I'll be able to get it done during lunch. I have a few hours after work to get it done too, but I'd rather be done with during lunch so I don't have to stress too much before class starts. It's statistics and I'm dreading it more than any other class I've taken and there hasve been a few bad classes, odly enough those all invloved math as well. I've been off school for 6 weeks and it's hard to get my self back into school mode. I've known about this assignment for over 2 weeks and have done nothing to get to it. I'm such a huge procrstinator. I really hate that about myself sometimes.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Funny Stories about life with a teen

On Friday, I received an email from my daughter's Science teacher informing me of an attitude issue that resulted in Haley receiving a zero on a lab. Over the last little while Haley's hair has become unruly and her bangs covered half of her face completely obscuring her eyes. Everytime I told her she needed to get her hair cut she refused and said she could see just fine. Well on Friday her hair violated lab safety rules and her teacher called her on it. I made her a hair appointment immediately after reading the email.

Saturday before leaving for her hair she completely lost it, asking me if she had to get her hair wet in order for it to be cut, when I informed that yes, that's how it's usually done, she started crying and wouldn't stop. I was completely stumped and getting really frustrated with her. After asking several questions that started with "what did you do to your hair?" or What's wrong with your face?" I asked the correct question which was "What did you do to your eyebrows?"

Turns out Haley decided to wax her eyebrows and got a little too much wax on her left one and thought the only way to get the wax off was to use the cloth strip, which of course took off all of the eyebrow that had wax on it. She's been growing her hair the last two months to hide the fact she's missing part of her eyebrow. It wasn't as bad as she thought though, so Jill, our hair stylist, was able to fix her eyebrows and her hair (Hallelujah!), and I finally have my kid back. The sulleness is gone and she's smiling again and I can see her beautiful eyes again. Of course, when she finds out I posted her horrow story on the internet I'm sure I'll get sullen teenager back again.

I forgot...

I forgot to do a weigh in on Sunday, so I'm just going to chalk it up to a lost week and do a weigh in next Sunday. I don't know what exactly is wrong with me but I'm just feeling worn down, plus my foot is only now just starting to heal.

I bought a treadmill today. It should be delivered by next Monday. I can't wait! No really, I'm pretty excited about. So is Haley. Here is a picture of the treadmill:

Friday, January 18, 2008

Happy Birthday!

To my best friend Lynnda who is 34 today. She lives in Cali and I'm stuck here in St. Louis but the distance hasn't done damage to our lifelong friendship. We may go months without contact, but it's still as if no times has passed once we get on the phone (or together in person). I really need to make another trip out there. I was just hoping to lose a few pounds before I did. Those plane seats are small. I think she's going to tell me she's getting married to her ex-husband again today. I think a June wedding is in the works.


Yep, she's getting married again in June. She's asked me to be her maid of honor and I said yes. They've done a big wedding once already, so they are doing small this time, maybe even an elopement. They are discussing Savannah, GA, back home in Cali, or Costa Rica! I'm up for any of those... but it means I have to be really serious about this weight loss.

Because I am uncoordinated...

I am injured. Somehow, I have managed to mess up my left foot. I'm fine when I am standing but the second I start walking I am in constant pain. It started out as just the side of my foot but as I've put more pressure on it the pain has spread to the ball of my foot now too. I'm sure I've pulled something, I just don't know how. This sucks, and now I can't even attempt to exercise until the pain goes away. *sigh* This losing weight thing is hard.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Workout

Well I did manage to make it to the gym. I got 30 minutes of cardio in, walked almost 2 miles in that time and burned 226 calories according to the treadmill. The place was packed and my legs burned after the 30 minutes, so I left. I can remember a time when I could be there for 2 hours and not feel the kind of pain I'm currently feeling. It really sucks being out of shape.

I have the day off!

So I'm at home right now. Pretty unusual for a work week, but my daughter got her bottom braces on this morning. I sent her back to school afterwards with a sore mouth, because I am a mean Mom. Now, I'm home alone. I ate a bad lunch. I don't know why I keep trying to sabotage myself. I'm going to clean the house though to work off some of those calories (that damn tortilla!). My house is a mess.. but not for long. I'm clearing off the kitchen counters, doing at least 3 loads of wash, and vaccuming the heck out of my carpet... and then I might take a nap.

My goal this evening is to make it to the gym to do 45-60 minutes of cardio. I'll post on how that goes. I haven'tbeen to the gym in months.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Biggest Loser

I'm an avid watcher. I'm always amazed at how much weight is lost and sometimes envious of those numbers. However, on tonight's episode there was a conversation that Jillian had with the daughter of the Pink Team. I cried, because I answered Jillian before the daughter did about why she was fat and my answer was almost identical to hers. Understanding why we are fat is a major part in the weight loss journey. I know I'm fat because it is a form of protection. No one wants to date a fat girl, so as long as I am fat I can't get hurt or rejected. I've buried myself in food for so long I was beginning to forget how to be happy. I want to be happy again. I want to feel good about myself again. I want to spend my life with someone who loves me fat or thin. I just have to figure out how to get there first.


Sometimes the hardest thing about changing the way you eat is the temptation of fast food. There are days when going through a drive thru is just easier. I wanted to today. I really did, but I didn't. Instead I chose to eat something in my house that totalled 310 calories. I made the right choice tonight, and I can only hope I can continue doing it.

Monday, January 14, 2008

It's Monday... and I feeling blaghhh

Oh how I hate Mondays. The weekend is over and the work week begins again. I haven't been feeling well today. I'm just hoping to get through the day so I can go home and relax. This day has been endless. *Sigh* I'm just just feeling blagh.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Weekly weigh in

After a stress filled week where I was beginning to think I'd just keep gaining weight my total weekly weight loss is 3.1 lbs. I was hoping for more, but I'm just grateful I managed a loss.

Beginning Weight - 236.5
New Weight - 233.4
Goal Weight - 145

Friday, January 11, 2008


I'm pretty sure my kid will be the death of me. What is it with teens and responsibility? Is it really that hard to keep the ringer on your cell phone so that when someone calls you can actually hear it? Is it really so hard to retrieve your alarm clock from the office so you can use it to wake up in the morning so you won't miss the bus? Is it just the age becasue I do not remember being like this when I was 13. She's done it twice to me this week, and today I told her I was done. I'm not even calling the school to tell them, I told her she had to do it because I'm tired of protecting her from the consequences. Does it make me a bad parent to hope they give her an ISS so that maybe she'll actually star getting up in the morning and making the bus?

Thursday, January 10, 2008


I'm a weak person. My daughter convinced me she needed to have a cheeseburger from Red Robin and I caved. I ate a cheeseburger tonight minus the fries, but I feel guilty and I barely enjoyed. Probably because I usually avoid red meat. So tomorrow it's back to home cooked meals. I told Haley I wouldn't cave again and I actually mean it.

What I've been doing

I've spent the last three days absorbed in books! I thought I was losing my passion for reading. I spent so much of 2007 doing school stuff I didn't have time to read for pleasure. I've been on break from school for 4 weeks and have been unable to bring myself to read anything. I've gotten many books from the library but would read the first page and then put it down and never pick it up again. The first book I read that lifted my spirits was The Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. It's a YA book, but was so much fun to read that I couldn't put it down. I went to her blog and read something that encouraged me to look into books by Stephanie Meyer. What a find! Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. Fantastic books about a girl's discovery of a the existence of other as well as a love story/love triangle. I'm totally bummed I'm done with all her published works, but am looking forward to the 4th books in the series.

Sticking to it...

It’s been such a struggle. You see I have High Blood Pressure and my prescription ran out and my Dr. refused to refill it without seeing him first. I have no desire to get on a scale and have my weight recorded and I was pissed the Dr. wouldn’t just refill the damn thing and then call and say make an appointment before it runs out again. So I’ve been without the medicine for 6 days. That doesn’t seem like a long time, but when your meds include a “water pill” it causes a lot of water retention. So even though I’ve been good all week and followed a much healthier diet I’ve gained weight every day. Until this morning, I had gained 4 lbs of water, but this morning I’m down 2 lbs from my original weight, and I’m still swollen with water, so I still have some excess water to get rid of. I’m working through it, and surprisingly feel better without my meds than I did while I was taking them. I think it has something to do with the side effects of Lisinopril that I didn’t realize I was having until I stopped taking it. I can breathe much better.

Off to drink more water now….

Sunday, January 06, 2008

The start of a new year

Today is the first day of a new healthy way of living. I'm about to finish my Bachelor's Degree. I have 1 class left and then I'm supposed to start my new life with all this free time I'm about to acquire. I've been doing the school thing for about 4 1/2 years now, and promised myself I'd get in shape and have a social life once school was done. Well now it's almost done and quite frankly, I can't imagine anyone wanting to date me because one, I'm horribly fat and two, if I don't like myself, how is anyone else supposed to? So I've kicked my butt into gear and did the whole grocery thing and began following the Weight Watchers plan again.

Today hasn't been so bad, I'm well within my point limits and have started prepping for dinner, lots of veggies, that do a good job of filling me up. So here comes the hard part, where I write down my starting weight so I can commit myself to never being this weight again.

Starting Weight: 236.5 lbs

Goal Weight: 145 lbs

I'm going to try to keep a consistent record of what I'm doing while on this weight loss journey as well as a food journal, to keep myself honest.

Today I've had:

Turkey sandwich, hold the mayo 5 points

WW Smart Ones Sana Fe Chicken 5 points

WW Choc Chip Muffin 3 points

Fresh Pineapple 1 point


I don't even know waht to call it becasue it is a family recipe that was tweaked to fit a healthir life style that has tomatoes, peppers, onion, and turkey kilbasa but the total points for it is 8 points.

That's it for now.