Dinner anyone???

I’ve been having a hard time lately thinking of new things to cook for dinner that are healthy and low calorie. My daughter and I are not big meat eaters, which is weird considering just how much the rest of my family loves all things meat, but we just aren’t. We eat chicken… but chicken does get boring after a while. I think we eat red meat about twice a month, at the most. I need help! Are there any suggestions out there for cheap, easy and healthy dinners for someone like me and the teen?

Oh... and we do not eat seafood. Ever! You see why dinner can be difficult around my house?

Does this post really need a title???

I’ve been feeling very down lately. I’ve thought a lot about why. Some of it is because I am going through so many changes. In the last year I graduated college, quit smoking, started exercising, rejoined weight watchers, watched my “baby” start high school, turned 35, lost over 30 lbs, restarted this blog, put myself on a budget that meant rethinking how I spend money, and truly started looking for a new job. I’ve accomplished a lot since last June, but I am alone. Which means I find myself lonely.

The ex has been gone and out of my life since I was 24 and since then I have gone on dates but have never dated anyone. (Totally my fault, I let quite a few really great men go, I wasn’t ready then) I’ve been ready for someone in my life for a while now, but I have no idea how to meet people. I work for a big company, but my immediate co-workers are older women, and I look around at work and see really old men or babies just out of college. All the men my age seem to have rings on their fingers.

I recently tried an internet website and have had 2 men contact me, both of which are not for me. I’ve looked at the profiles of some of these men on this site and over and over again, I see the “women I’m looking for is fit/thin/small/tiny/athletic” etc. In other words not me, even if I lose the last 40 lbs I will never be their ideal. The best I can hope for is healthy. Please don’t get me wrong healthy is what I want for me… but seriously I wonder if there will ever be someone out there that wants me. And if there is… where the hell is he?

I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this… I’m just trying to document how I feel because this blog is supposed to be more than just my weight loss journey because I am more than just my weight loss. Sometimes it hard to remember that.

In other news, there is no Day 13 of 30 Day Shred. It is Tuesday and that means Zumba! It’s my favorite day of the work week. It usually helps me get out of these funks that I go through periodically.

Day12 - 30 Day Shred

Can I just take a moment to tell you how much I do not love Level 2 of Shred? I feel completely out of my element with many of the moves, and it has been leaving my exhausted. All of which I know is a good thing, but I really really hate feeling incompetent, and that's where I am right now with level 2. About the only thing I can say right now about Shred is that I know I'm building muscle and burning fat because I feel lightger on my feet and my arms are sore and tired. I think I should be sleeping well tonight.

Currently watching Nathan Fillion in Castle. He is hot and funny. Yum!

Day 11 - 30 Day Shred

Just a quick note to say I did Level 2 today and it kicked my ass big time. Level 2 really is a lot harder than level 1. I am going to be sticking to level 2 though, no going back to level 1 now. I want to see what Level 2 does to my measurements after 10 days.

Shred is about the only thing I accomplished today. I have been lazy ever since. I get so much more done during the week...

Fellow Blogger Giveaway!

Ginny over at
Mom of 2 Dancer Reviews is haveing a giveaway. You can win a Flip Video. Check it out for your chance to win

Contest Winner!!!!!

And the winner of is: Just Me!

Congratulations! Please check your email.

Day 10 - 30 Day Shred

I may not have done Day 9, but I did not forget to do Day 10. My very last day for Level 1. I've decided tomorrow I'm going to brave Level 2 and keep working on it until I figure out how to do it wihtout knee pain. And since it is Day 10, I thought I would post my measurements from Day 1 and Day 10, so there is a written record of the changes that Shred has done for my body.

Day 1
Chest: 43 1/2 inch
Waist: 37 inch
Hips: 47 1/2 inch
Calf: 17 inch
Thigh: 26 inch

Day 10
Chest: 42 1/4 inch
Waist: 35 1/2 inch
Hips: 46 inch
Calf: 17 inch
Thigh: 24 inch

Loss:
Chest: 1 1/4 inch
Waist: 1 1/2 inch
Hips: 1 1/2 inch
Calf: No Change
Thigh: 2 inch


So that's pretty damn good. Only 20 more days to go. I wonder where I will end up when it's all over. I think these are pretty awesome results and speaks to just what 30 Day Shred does to your body.

Weigh in Results - 5/2/09 BLBE2 Last Weigh In

So this is my last weigh in for the Biggest Loser Blog Edition. I can't believe it's over. I am not the BLBE2's biggest loser but I feel like a winner because I stuck to the competition, posted my weight every week, even when there was a gain, and accomplished the goals I had set out at the beginning of the challenge. I wanted to lose at least 16 lbs and I wanted to reach my 10% WW goal. I even lost more than the 16 lbs, so yay me! So this week's results are:



.4

Not a huge loss, but a well earned loss. I figure because my muscles have been sore all week long thank to Jillian. I've been building lots of new muscle while eating within my points. I think next week I'll see a good loss.

I'm really sad that the BLBE2 challenge is over. I want to thank both Angie and Lynn for hosting this competition. I do not believe my results would have been as good as they are if I had not had this healthy competition in my life. If you ever do another of these challenges, I'm so in!

I started this challenge out at 234.4 and am ending this challenge at 215.8. That is a huge accomplishment and I am really looking forward to the next 16 lbs coming off so I can say good bye to the 200's forever. I hope I can get to my goal weight by my birthday, if I don't I think I'll be pretty close to it.

Day 9 - 30 Day Shred

Did not happen. But it may hapen later tonight. I'm being lazy. That is all.

P.S. Remember today is the last day to enter my contest for your chance to win your very own copy of 30 Day Shred. Winner will be announced tomorrow.

Day 8 - 30 Day Shred

I almost didn't get to Shred today. This morning I actually talked myself out of waking up to do Shred because I had done Zumba and Shred yesterday, so why did I really need to get up to do it again this morning. So I slept in and told mhyself I could take the day off.

I felt pretty guilty about though, so when I got home I told the kid that I was turning Shred on and she could stay and do it with me or she could go to her room and chill there while I got it done. She of course went to her room, no way was she going to work out unless it affected her PE grade at school. I decided to go back to Level 1 because my knee is really bothering me and I knew I would not be able to do the mountain climbers or the walking plank move, so I didn't think I'd really get the benefit of level 2. I'm going to stay at level 1 for a couple more days before attempting level 2 again.

I decided to take the day off from the gym though, so all I have to do tonight is cook dinner, do at least 2 loads of wash, vacuum, and watch Grey's Anatomy. Currently watching Kirstie Alley on Oprah.


If you have not entered my contest for a chance to win a copy of 30 Day Shred for your very own, please enter by midnight on May 1st, 2009.

Wednesday To do list

So, I'm off of work today. I have to get my car registered today, which means I have to get a safety inspection and an emissions check before I go spend a couple of hours waiting in a line to get my tags. I remember the days when I could just send a check in the mail and my tags would be mailed to me... MO is not CA.

So my to do list included:

Shred - Totally completed that one!
Oil Change
Safety/Emissions Check
ZUMBA! at the Y. - So excited about this one, I get Zumba twice this week.
DMV to get new plates for 2 years!
Laundry - apparatnly we have used every towel in the house, so I'm going to be a cleaning girl
Make chicken pot pie recipe from the Hungry-Girl Cookbook.



Don't forget to enter my contest for a chance to win your very own copy of 30 Day Shred!

Day 7 - 30 Day Shred

Day 7 = success! Sort of. I decided to go ahead and try Level 2. It's a lot harder than Level 1. About 5 seconds into the first strength move I was wondering what I'd gotten myself into and then I heard my cat moan and proceed to hack a hairball up on my carpet. *sigh* So gross! So Shred had to wait a minute and then I got started up really wondered if I should go back down to 1. I didn't and I got through it, a lot clumsy and with pain. I had to follow Anita because of knee issues in my right knee so many of the moves were a bad idea for me. I pretty much thought this on Day 1 of Shred at Level 1 so I will get over it and build my strength. It's always hard when you do something new.

I actually can't believe I've done Shred for a week now. I'm pretty proud of myself.

Day 6 - 30 Day Shred

= Fail. I was slept in this morning rather than getting up to do Shred. I think I was able to justify not doing Shred today because I have an Abs class and Zumba tonight, so I’m going to be getting a lot of exercise in tonight. And I was tired and I wanted to stay warm this morning. One thing I have noticed is that I have had a difficult time waking up today. I keep yawning and I’m just feeling tired. First time I’ve felt like this since starting Shred, so maybe there is something to this exercise in the morning thing.

Oh, and instead of having my veggie omelet today I had oatmeal... I wonder if that pklayed a part in my lethargy today???

The rest of Monday...

I ate horribly at lunch, because I'm a dumb ass, so I went to the gym after visiting my Great Aunt at the nursing home. I only did 35 minutes on the on the elliptical and then I left the gym to come home to make another equally horrible dinner (hello! pizza!) and watch the season finales of Chuck and Heroes. So that is what I'm currently doing... sitting on my ass and watching one of the best shows on TV (Chuck) that may never be on again. *shakes fist* You better renew Chuck NBC!

Day 5 – 30 Day Shred

I started my day off just as early as my previous work days while Shredding… 4:30 AM. Yes, only crazy people get up that early in the morning. I turned Shred on, still at level 1 and… I felt stronger and more able to follow Natalie instead of Anita in everything except the butt kicks. But now that I have better stamina, I’ve figured out I can’t actually kick my own butt because my thighs are still too large (and I have a bad knee that hampers my ability too). So I follow Anita for those. After 5 days of doing level 1 I do feel like I’m getting bored, I’m one step ahead of the next exercise that’s going to start, so I think I’m going to try level 2 tomorrow instead of level 1. Will report back tomorrow on how that went.

If you want to try Shred check out my contest for a chance to win a copy of 30 Day Shred for your very own.

Day 4 30 Day Shred

I was up bright and early this morning and not nearly as sore as I have been. I could walk and everything! I turned Shred on almost right away so I could get it over with, hop in the shower, and then head to church. I used the 5 lb weights today for eveything but the side lunges/arm raises, my arms are just not strong enough to complete the move the entire time with 5 lb weights. I continue to sweat profusely during this 20 minute workout.

The most interesting thing I noticed this morning (besides feeling stronger already!) was that my waist looked smaller. Seriously, it looked smaller to me so I brought out the measuring tape and I was right! I've lost an 1 1/2 inches in 4 freaking days. Now, I'm going to admit just how bad my waistline has been. When I started this journey last July my waist was 42 inches. 4 days ago my waist measurement was 37 inches. This morning my waist measurement read 35 1/2 inches. I'm really exicted about this result and am totally staying with the Shred for the whole time, just to see how good my results can be. I think the bicycle crunches are the reason why my waist has transformed the way it has so far.

Anyway, I think I've had some really good results so far. If you have not tried the 30 Day Shred yet and want to, enter my contest for a chance to win a copy of it.

My first Giveaway!

I'm so pleased with my adventures with 30 Day Shred that I'm feeling like I need to share it with others. I'm going to giveaway a copy to one lucky reader. Here is all you need to do to for a chance to win. You can do one or all:

1) Comment on this blog

2) Tweet about the contest on Twitter come back and let me know you tweeted it and you'll get another entry.

3) Follow this blog. Be sure to let me know you are following or are a follower of the blog for another entry

I will accept entries until Friday May 1, 2009 at Midnight PST and announce the winner on Saturday, May 2. Contest is open to US and Canadian residents only. (I don't want to forget about our friends to the North)


***Update*** If you do not have a twitter you can also blog about it on your blog for another chance to win.

Day 3 - 30 Day Shred

It is now Noon on Saturday and I've just completed Day 3 of Shred. i decided to use 5 lb weights today and about 1/2 way through I had to stop and switch to the 3 lb weights. I'll try again tomorrow and hopefully I will continue to get stronger and can move up to heavier weights before the end of the first 30 days.

I'm still sore but the moves do appear to get easier, maybe because I'm expecting the changes now so I know I need to push a little harder and mvoe a little quicker to keep up with Jillian... well Anita anyway, I'm not quite ready to follow Natalie but I think I will be before the end. The butt kicks are still beyond me, but I moved a little more during that 30 seconds of time, so yay me. I can not believe how much sweat pours off of me during this workout. Obviously I have not been working myself as hard as I can be at the gym. The only night I sweat this much is Zumba and that isbecause I have someone there telling me I can do it and I believe her. So maybe I need to rethink this personal trainer thing. I always said I couldn't afford it and why would I pay someone to tell me what to do? Now I'm beginning to think it might just do me some good to do it for a short while. I did get some back from taxes, so maybe I need to use a little of it to help me get healthier and stronger.

Anyway, Day 3 is done. Only 27 more to go.

Weekly Weigh In 04/25/09

I'm just going to get right to it. My results are much better than last week.



3.6

I've done a lot of right things, and there are a few things I still need to work on, but I'm getting more consistent with my exercise and what I'm puttin gin my mouth.

I have not completed Day 3 of the Shred yet. I chose to sleep in today (and it was wonderful!) I'm pretty sore but not like I was last night. Last night I could not do more than a shuffle around my house. I had some muscle relaxers left over from my, now gone, jaw trouble so I popped one of thise babies last night and oday my muscles are not nearly as tight.

I bought a new vacuum last night. It's a bagless one with a hepa filter. I learned two things... 1) my carpets were disgusting and 2) the hepa filter does work becasue I can breath easier in my house.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Day 2 – 30 Day Shred

I only hit the snooze button once this morning. The 2nd time it went off instead of hitting snooze I turned the alarm off (which could have been a huge disaster!). I debated with myself for about 30 seconds about leaving the comfort of my warm bed to do Shred. I actually talked my self out of the extra sleep because it was only 30 extra minutes. Seriously people, only 30 extra minutes. 30 minutes is like another 8 hours when you are the type who really enjoys sleeping. *sigh*

I got my ass out of bed and about cried because my calved and thighs were so sore (I could barely walk). At this point, I really tried to convince myself to get back in bed and hide. I’m sure I would have if I hadn’t already turned the alarm off! My subconscious totally knows me! I turned on Jillian to Level 1 and started to 20 minutes of hell. I didn’t half-ass it either. The only move I can not do, and I’m not sure why, is the kicking my feet up to my butt. Actually, I could barely pick me feet off of the floor because of soreness, but even yesterday I had difficulty doing it. I’m pretty heavy in the legs so maybe that’s why? Otherwise I did pretty well. I only used 3 lb weights, I think tomorrow I will bring out the 5 lb weights and if those still feel too light then I’m about to make a purchase for heavier hand weights (okay, so I should probably have had 10 lb weights already but I have always been pretty lazy and whiny about things being too heavy. I’m working on that)

Day 2 is accomplished and I feeling pretty good about myself. I’m sore as all get out, but I just keep saying it’s only for 30 days. Tonight I am heading over to the gym to put in 60 minutes on the elliptical. I’ve done really well with exercise and food this week. I’ve also not had soda this week, which is a total miracle because I do love Coca Cola, the real stuff, not a diet soda fan. I’m a little worried about the weigh in because I’m a scale junkie and get on every morning and the numbers are not reflecting my effort. I know it will reflect it eventually but I was really hoping to lose all the weight I’d gain last week and then some. It’s still in the realm of possibility, I stated before how my body has a habit of holding excess water. I am consistently diagnosed with Edema and take a water pill daily (HCTZ 25 mg) So, I’m totally going to see a loss, I just don’t know how much of one I’m going to get this week. Have a happy Friday all! Yay, it’s Friday!

Day 1 – 30 Day Shred

I was supposed to start Day 1 yesterday, but sleeping through the alarm clock for 40 minutes threw that right out the window. So my plan was to start this morning on Day 1.
• Alarm clock going off at 4:20 am? Check
• Hit snooze twice? Check
• After hitting snooze 2nd time, actually look at time and notice it is 4:38 and just enough time allotted to do 20 minute Shred workout and still be able to take shower, make lunches and get to work on time. Check
• Roll out of bed… even though don’t want to? Check!
• Turn DVD on and think smugly… I can totally rock this out and not feel it because I’ve been working out for 10 months? Check
• After 3 minutes of doing what Jillian tells me to… start thinking how much I hate her and maybe want to cry just a little? Definitely Check.
• Finish 30 Day Shred and vow never to do it again? Check (I’m kidding I’m going to get up again tomorrow!)

Wow, for just 20 minutes Shred really kicks your ass. I can’t believe how tired I was and how my calves and thighs feel sore already. I could not kick my heels up to my ass, not because I can’t do it, but because I didn’t want my daughter running out of her room swearing we’d just had an earthquake! Anyway, I’m glad I got through Day 1… only 29 more to go.

Another On Program Day

Another day finished and another day back in control. It helps so much to have groceries in the house. It has made a huge difference in my fod choices and my desire to eat healthy. I feel strong and healthy this week!

I am now on day 3 of gym going. Tonight, of course, was Abs and Zumba! Still so excited to go to class every week. It's how I know it's where I still belong.


I watched tongiht's Biggest Loser and was very sad to see Kristin go. I really hoped she would win it. She will do awesome in real life though so ultimately that's all that matters. Currently watching the Blues in OT. Please let the playoof dream continue. The boys need to win at least one. Go Blues!

One last thing, I broke down and bought 30 Day Shred. Day 1 starts tomorrow!

Back in step

I started off my Sunday morning by heading to church. I love my church, our pastor is awesome, his message always powerful, and the music there is incredible. Today's musicians were from the youth. So imagine totally awesome and talented teenage boys singing and playing instruments with a passion most of us wish for. Awesome way to start the day.

After church, we went to Mimi's cafe for breakfast. I was not good. I had a monterey omelete that had monterey jack cheese, bacon, and avocado. It was delicous, but not a great way to start my caloric intake for the day. I felt a little guilty for enjoying its awesome deliciousness that when I got home, I put my workout clothes on and headed to the gym. I did 35 minutes on the eliptical and then 20 minutes of strength training. Probably not as much as I should have done, but I think it's actually pretty darn good considering I do not usually hit the gym on the weekends.

After the gym, I went and got my toes done. They are quite pretty now and completely ready for sandal season.

Dinner at Mom's house is all that's left on the agenda for they day. The menu is steak and since I'm not a red meat eater, I'm bringing my own food. lol I'm back on track and looking forward to staying that way.

Weekly Weigh-In

So, I'm just gonna get this out there. I gained 2 lbs this week. I didn't throw everything out the window this week, but I I just never truly got around to doing what needs to be done to lose weight. I only exercised on Monday and Tuesday. The rest of the week, I just used my stress surrounding my upcoming interview to not go to the gym. It wasn't even a valid excuse, I was just being lazy. I didn't track one ounce of food this week, not even in my head. It's not like I hit fast food restaraunts or anything, I just ate whatever the hell was in my house and that included Easter candy... and a dark choclate Milky Way.

Even today, I haven't really been on... although I usually am lax on Saturdays. I did however make myself go to the grocery store (and Costco) to stock my shelves with wholesome goodness. I have enough food for the next two weeks, and it's all good stuff like chicken and turkey and veggies and fruit and yummy yogurt, which I have finally grown to love. And... well you get the picture. This gain has done more to kick my ass than anything else I could have done. So, I'm trying and I feel good about starting afresh this week. I'm also going to try to post more this week, to keep myself on track and honest.

As for my interview, well, I didn't bomb. But the more I think about it, the more nervous I am about my performance in there. I wasn't prepared for two of the questions asked so I totally winged my answers and I'm not sure how well those two went down. Even the questions I had prepared for I'm worried about. I really would love to have this job. It would be a lot of really hard work, but would be such an advancement to my career it'd be worth the loss of downtime. Plus, I'd get to travel a little bit. I won't hear anything for at least a week. I think they were interviewing 5 people and I was like interview 3 (which does not bode well, the rumours are the last guy usually gets the job. Actually not sure how true that is, that's just what peeps at work think).

Anyway, that's what's going on. The teen has her BFF over tonight, so I've got giggling teenagers in the house and The Red Wings on the telly. (My Blues are off tonight)

Nervous

So, I have my job interview tomorrow and I've been a little stressed about it the last couple of days. I haven't exercised since Tuesday or eaten very well the last couple of days. I'm disappointed with myself. I know this is just a temporary set back and everything will go back to normal after I get myself through this darn interview. (I really want the job, I will learn so much in it). I'm pretty sure I've gained weight this week, but hopefully next week will see me back on track. Anyway, just stopping by to let everyone know I am here just not being very health minded the last two or three days.

Weekly Weigh In...4/11/09

-1.6

I'm feeling pretty good about the results. I had to deal with a birthday party and missed gym time. I'm hoping to get back to my regularly scheduled program now. I do have a job interview to prepare for this week. I'm nervous about it but really hopeful that I interview well and get the job. I'd finally be able to put my degree to good use!

I'm still here!

I've just been incredibly busy and haven't been able to get on the interwebz. I'm afraid to visit my Google Reader because it's been like 3 days! I'm feeling better than I was the last time I posted anything, so that's good. I'm eating well and exercising, and doing everything I can possibly do to prepare myself for my job interview... that I don't even know if I'm going to get yet! But hey, even if it doesn't come to fruition, at least I've learned a bunch of new stuff about the company I work for and about the interview process in general. So that's about it. Just looking forward to Lost and bed tonight! How is everyone else these days?

I just can't seem to break this funk I'm in. I know it all has to do with hormonal issues, but I keep crying over totally stupid stuff, currently it is the movie Parent Trap. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this other than I'm trying to keep a record of this journey and my emotional health is just as important as my physical health. I keep feeling overwhelmed with all that's going on, and I don't have any clothes that fit, and I'm trying to get a new job but I'm also feeling guilt over leaving the old one because it's comfortable and safe and my boss is the type of boss that takes people leaving personally. And sometimes, I just want to quit everything because being fat is comfortable and I can hide and not live my life to the fullest. And I'm not even sure why I've just said that because it's the first time since August I've even thought that. Please let me get over this soon, because I am sick of feeling like this!

Tonight was also my very last night of Financial Peace University. I really do feel like I've learned a lot and am looking forward finding my own financial peace. I'll miss going to class every Sunday.

Weekly Weigh In...4/4/09

I've posted a couple of times this week about how I've been struggling this week with cravings and water retention. I almost didn't even go to WW this morning because I was sure there would be a huge gain. Since Thursday, I've been sticking to water and watching my sodium intake. I also got to the gym 4 days this week. I took last night off with the exercise because my muscles were sore. So I did start seeing the hand and ankle swelling slowly disappearing over the course of Friday and when I did finally manage to get over to my meeting (I was late! Procrastinate much!?) there was:

NO CHANGE! 0 lbs loss

Never have I been so happy to same the same exact number on the scale before! So now that TOM is on it's way out and my chocolate cravings are finally gone and water retention is a thing of the past, it's time to find my love for fruits and vegetables again and practice eating them instead of cookies.

Oh and I tried these this week.




They are both 5 points each, and I actually added 1 cup of broccoli to the penne and it made for a huge dinner! I was really surprised with how much food there actually was only 5 points, especially once the broccoli was added. Fantastic! There is still quite a of sodium in it, about 600 mg in each meal.

So that's it.

I know what's wrong with me (said in a sing-song voice ;p). One would think I would more in tune with my body than I am, but I'm not and it took gaining 9 lbs! in 5 days. Yeah you heard right. I can only hope that tht I can get rid of this water in about 36 hours. My legs are completely swollen, full of water and my stomach is full of cookies. I think even if I get rid of most of this water, I'm going to have a gain. I've resigned myself to it and I'm going to focus on drinking lots of water and stick to veggies and fruit tomorrow. Take care all!

AAAAcccckkkkk!

I seem to be eating my way through the day. I freaking ate 2 donuts today and honestly I not even a big fan of donuts. *sigh* I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me, but I better figure it out quick because another few days like today and my lovely loss of last week will be history!

On a positive note, I did make it to the gym today and did strength training in my arms and got 70 minutes on the elliptical and I didn't get dizzy or anything. So I'm also on the mend! Woot! So that's actually 2 positives.

I'm still sick!

This has got to stop! I am now on Day 10 of this virus. I finally have my voice back, but I still kind of sound like I've been smoking 3 packs a day for the last 20 years... a nice deep voice but at least all my words are coming out rather than every 3rd of 4th one, which was totally happening last week. And this sickness caused me to not be able to finish my Zumba! class last night! I got about 15 minutes into the class and was too dizzy to keep going. I was pretty bummed because I love my class and I love results I get from the class.

Apparantly though this virus has affected my memory because I stepped on the scale this morning and saw a 4 lb gain! And I'm thinking, there is no way I gained tht much since Saturday. Then I started thinking, when was the last time I took my Blood Pressure Medication? It's a water pill, and once I started thinking I realized that I hadn't taken it in a few days (like maybe once in the last 5 days!) So mystery solved. I've got to get better at taking my meds. When I was on double BP meds I never forgot to take the pills, but ever since the Dr dropped me down to just the one, I've had a really hard time remembering to take it. I've even had a hard time remembering if I actually took it as well. Like halfway through the day, I start thinking about whether or not I actually took the darn thing, even when I actually had. I think once I've gotten through this challenge, I'm going to speak to the Dr about going off the water pill too. I don't want to be on any medication anymore. I'm pretty sick of taking pills. *sigh* Anyway, that's all I got today.

Weekly Weigh In - 3/28/09

The results are in and they are more awesome than I could have imagined.



- 3 LBS

Hard work truly does pay off. After having gotten my 10% and 25 lb charm last week and then getting sick, I really could have found many excuses to slack off. And I did think about it, but I just kept thinking to myself. "why would I repeat old patterns?" That didn't work out so great for me before, so I chose to do something different. And that meant hitting the gym even though I would have rather I had curled up in bed and slept. It also meant that I not stop at Taco Bell and pick up something instead of cooking. (I actually had help on the cooking front this week, because my Mom cooked dinner like 4 days this week so I didn't have to, which was awesome!)

And you know what's awesome about this week's loss? I am now out of the 220's! I have 3 more lbs to go and I will b e back at the weight I was the last time I quit WW's, so I am almost to the point of finally losing new weight. I can't, can't wait!!! Have an awesome (there's that word again) weekend.

Friday Randomness

I can not speak. *sigh* I have no voice. It sucks because I like talking. A lot.

My ex is coming in to town tonight to see The Kid. It's been almost 2 years since TK has seen him. It's nice he's made the trip... I would have rather he'd sent the money as child support rather a wasteful trip across two states and a hotel stay, but what do I know? And before anyone thinks I'm trying to keep him from my daughter. I'm not he made some very poor choices... including walking out on us when she was 4 and basically not seeing her again until she was 12. With almost 4 years with absolutely no contact at all. We didn't even know he'd moved to his current state.

Weigh in is tomorrow. If I can keep from retaining water (a problem I actually have when I forget to take my BP meds) I might actually see a good loss! I let you all know in the AM.

Currently watching Sarah Connor Chronicles. I'll watch Dollhouse next, but I'm really sad there is no BSG tonight! Alrighty, I'm all randomed out. Until tomorrow.

Not stopping

Not even sickness has stopped me from exercising. Yesterday, I was so not feeling hot, but went to the gym and did 75 minutes on the elliptical. My legs were like jello when I finally got off that machine. Today, I'm actually feeling much better. I still sound very nasally and I'm dealing with a sore throat, but I have more energy than yesterday and did my Tuesday routine of Abs and Zumba! And the instructor worked us hard in both classes she added new things to do, changing things up which of course left my legs and abs trembling and I was sweating a lot more than I have in previous Zumba! (I can't type that without the ! I <3 Zumba! so much) classes. The sweating part I think actually might go back to getting off of the beta blocker. Since my heart rate gets up there now I seem to sweat a lot more... which I hope means more calories burned.

Watching Biggest Loser right now and they are about to do the vote off, and they voted the way I hoped they would. I feel bad for the eliminee but I liked the other guy a lot more. (see how awesome I am no spoilers!)

Sick

I'm sick! It started while I was at a play with my daughter. My throat started getting scratchy and now 3 hours later my throat is sore, my nose is stuffy, and I'm not feeling like myself at all. I'd managed to avoid everything that had gone around throughout the entire winter cold season. Figures that I'd get sick on the first weekend of Spring I'd come down with something. Feeling, blah!

Before pic

I promised a before pics. It was taken in July 20, 2008, the day before I actually quit smoking. The first 6 months of '08 I managed to gain 33 lbs, while "trying" to lose weight. You can see from this pic, how well I was succeeding at weight loss. I'm also posting a pic from June '08 on what should have been one of my happiest moments that I would totally want captured on film, but hated every moment of it, and that was my college graduation. I can't believe how heavy I was and how losing just 28 lbs has made such a difference in my life. The funny thing is even though I'm almost down 30 lbs, I still haven't changed pant sizes yet... or maybe I have because for a while I was only buying clothes with elastic waists. I haven't had to buy any pants in new sizes because I basically can fit into all of my "fat" pants and have breathing room. 10 more lbs and I'm sure I'll be able to fit into my "before" fat pants, that would be the 16's and 14's depending on the brand name. So enough stalling already I present my before pictures:

July 2008

June 2008


And just so you can see where I'd like to go back to. Here is a picture of me taken when I was about 150 lbs, maybe a little more but not much. I'd be happy in the 160's, I think... but I look at this picture and think I look good here.

November 1999


To celebrate my 10%, I am going to get my hair colored at 2PM so I will post current pics of me when I get home with my awesome new color!really it's just to cover the grey unless my stylist has an awesome idea for color which she usually does. I hoping she wants to go lighter this time rather than darker. And yes I do leave it in her hands because I trust her and she has never steered me wrong.

Weekly Weigh In - 3/21/09

Gosh, I haven't posted anything all week! I'm not sure why, but I think I've been feeling a bit of lather, rinse, repeat and haven't had anything interesting to say. I've been eating right and exercising all week, so I was hoping for a decent loss on the scale. I even said no to Cold Stone ice cream cake last night when celebrating my brother's 23rd birthday. I ate a skinny cow ice cream instead. So on to my results:

I am


-1.6

and I received this today at my Weight Watchers meeting:



So I feel renewed and inspired to keep going on this journey because I can do this. I can get healthy and thin if I just keep on this path. As a reward for all my hard work I am going to get my hair cut and colored. I haven't given myself any reward yet, even though I was going to do something at the 10 and 20 lb marks. Since I didn't I feel okay with rewarding myself for 10% and then my 25 lb Weight Watcher loss. I just hope I can get an appointment this weekend, I've got lots of gray showing and I've got to get rid of it soon! Then I might post some before and after photos. I saw a picture of me from July 08 (just before I started exercising) and I can not believe that is what I looked like!

Weekly Weigh In - 3/14/09

Results are in and all I can say is, at least it's a loss.

-.4

I can't even b e excited about having a loss, because I'd gotten my hopes up so high for a big loss and it didn't happen. But it's a loss, and I should just get over myself and be grateful it's not a gain. *sigh*

Sore Abs!

I usually only do abs once a week. I know, I'm lazy. I'm still sore from Tuesday's abs class, but decided today that I'd go the Thursday class. I. AM. SORE! But I feel pretty good about it. I've really been working hard at the gym, and I'm really looking forward to weigh in to see if all this work I'm doing pays off... I realize it will eventually, but I'm kind of looking for the instant gratification. I'm impatient that way ;)

My food has been okay. I did have pizza on Monday and went out to dinner at Red Robin, but I had a grilled chicken sandwich and a side salad for dinner, instead of the burger and fries I really wanted. Tonight, I made a family recipe but adjusted to be lower in calories, but I was really hungry and ended up having 2 servings of it for a total of 11 points, which was okay because I had 10.5 points left for the day and I earned 7 AP's today. So I'm feeling pretty good... I just have to be sure I don't laugh too much, my abs are feeling a little tender. Have a good evening all!

Exercising without medication

So I've been off the beta blocker medication for a week now and I've noticed something while exercising. It started two days ago when I was on the elliptical. I was sweating a lot more and my heart rate was a lot higher, and I was finding myself struggling with incline/resistences that I had previously found easy or acceptable. Two days ago I just was like "huh, that's weird." Last night at Zumba I thought I was going to die. I had sweat pouring off of me, I couldn't catch my breath, and I was pretty sure I was going to have to quit halfway through the class. That;s when it dawned on me, that without the beta blocker my heart was actually moving into a fat burn stage, and did I ever move into it. Tracy, the Zumba instructor stopped in between songs twice to check my heart rate, the first 30 seconds after a song ended I was averaging 15 beats in 5 seconds, that's like 200 beats per minute, Yikes! She said after 30 seconds though it dropped to where I would average about 160 beats per minutes. Tracy thinks I might start seeing better results on the scale now that my body is actually recognizing that I'm working out... and if you'd seen how glowing I was you'd know I was working hard. I've been on this exercising kick for 7 months now and I've never felt like I worked harder than last night! Tracy also worked Abs and Arms before Zumba, so I'm feeliing a little sore everywhere. Sore has never felt so good. I'm totally excited for Saturday's weigh in, to see if my results are any better off blood pressure meds.

Weekly Weigh In - 3/7/09

Much better results this week! I'm down:

1 lb.

So I feel pretty good about this. I found myself at the gym 4 days this week, 2 days where I took a Zumba class. I hard a hard time sticking to my daily points target this week, I went over every day except yesterday. I don't have to wonder at the reason why, I know it's because I worked out really hard so I felt a lot hungrier this week AND my mouth has been having a hard chewing anything that is hard or crunchy so I was limited on what kind of fruits and vegetables I could eat. I did the best I could while dealing with my newly discovered TMJ problems.

I did go to the Dr for the jaw problem, and he gave me a muscle relaxer and something else (Nuerotin) which sort of scares me so I haven't taken it yet, and I'm only going to start it if the pain doesn't go away by next week. He also suggested Botox for the muscle that is having the spasms, but that's a final option for me. I only want botox in my forehead to get rid of the frown lines ;). While at the Dr.'s I did have a NSV. I've been on double blood pressure meds for 6 years and he took me off the Toprol this week, so now I am only taking HCTZ, which is a water pill. Another 20 lbs and I think I might get off all the meds. So, there's a Yay for me! So back to the jaw pain, I am going to get a mouth guard for night to see if that helps. Not the expensive kind from the Ortho but a cheap one from the store and if it helps then I'll dip into my FSA account and get the custom made one.

Today is my niece's 10th birthday. I guess we're having hot dogs and cake and ice cream today. I've already had a really good breakfast so I doubt I'll eat much, if anything, at the party. It's actually kind of nice to be able to go to a party and not feel like it's going to "ruin my diet" ... I don't actually feel like I'm on a diet anymore. I feel like I'm just living my life and making a series of choices that help me lose weight. I think I might actually, finally, be getting it.

Tuesday Exercise

I kicked as tonight at the gym. I took 30 minute Abs and of course Zumba! I take these classes every Tuesday so neither is new to my schedule, but I did try to put more effort into each move, whether it was a crunch or a squat. I'm a good kind of tired tonight. My knees are a bit sore right now, but I think I'll be fine by the morning. Both classes earned me 13 AP's today, which is a good thing because I was horrible with food this weekend... I ate all my WP's before Sunday was through and AP's that I hadn't even earned yet. heh. The last two days have been pretty good food wise. I'm back on track and making healthy choices... It would be great if I could transfer my eating habits during the week to the weekend.

Karma biting me in the *ss!

So last week I blogged about only working hard enough to lose so as not to embarrass myself, and this week I worked out hard, tracked my food, and ate better than I have in a couple of weeks... and how I am I rewarded? Well I'm still retaining water and at this morning's weigh in I showed a gain!

+.4

Not a huge gain, but a gain none the less. I can only hope this is a fluke and next week I'll show a better loss. I'm so close to two of my goals and I can't believe I haven't hit either one of them yet. It's so frustrating, but maybe I needed this kick in the ass in order to step up my game.

In other news, I'm still experiencing mouth pain. I'm going to have to get that mouth guard because I can't live like this much longer. It is so hard to eat anything hard or crunchy, and soft food that I will eat usually equals not good for my waist line. *sigh*

Bits of randomness

So I'd like to say that I've just been incredibily busy and that's why I haven't posted since Monday, but that wouuldn't necessarily be true. I could have posted but I haven't felt like I've had anything interesting to say. There have been a few littel tid bits that I've thought I should blog that, but then just never did because the post would have only been a few lines long and just didn't seem like it was worth the effort. As I re-read all this I think I might have a bit of depression going on. Mostly I think because I've been living with pain in my mouth consistently for about 2 weeks, but intermittently for about a year and half. Yes I've been to the dentist twice, there isn't anything specifically wrong with my teeth. I totally have a tooth fetish and am pretty meticulous about mine because I have such high expectations of everyone elses teeth. Yes I am weird, I know this.

So anyway, the dentist last week finally said I probably clench my jaw in my sleep and that's why I'm in pain. He also said I need a mouth guard, and did I want to pay for that now? I said no. On Tuesday my daughter had an ortho appointment and I mentioned to my pain to the Dr. He told me to hop up, and looked at my mouth, asked where the pain was and said "Oh, that's good!" and then said "What I mean is the pain is coming from your muscles not joints or bones, we can fix this." He then gave me a couple of suggestions and then proceeded to call me the next day to make sure he had explained everything fully. He also suggested a mouth guard, because he did show me where my one tooth is getting hit when I clench at night (and believe I have absolutely no idea how I get to it in my sleep because no normal person would place their jaw the way I have to to damage it!) So I have options but the pain is... painful and makes me really irritable. So enough about that.

Over the weekend my daughter thought it fun to challenge me to a plank off. She said her PE teacher makes them do planks and that she could totally beat me at it. I do planks at least once a week when I take my Abs class on Tuesday's. So down on the ground we went, got in position and ready, set, go. About 30 seconds in she starts trash talking. "Ooh are you breathing? Do I see some shaking? Is your back straight?" My Mom, who was watching, said H, she's straighter than you are. At the minute mark H dropped! She starts cracking up because she totally thought she'd win and didn't. She was proud of me, and then was like I'm out, you can stop now. I just looked at her and said "Oh no, I want you to know just how much I beat you by, not that I just beat you" And I stayed up about 15 more seconds. I was shaking too bad to stay up any longer. The point of all this is though, when I first started doing planks I could go more than 15 seconds and I can go for almost 2 minutes now. Underneath all this fat, I 'm getting some muscle! So yay me.

I've managed to get to the gym everyday this week, I feel good about that. I'm staying within my points, haven't even broke out the WP's or AP's either. I'm retaining water big time, and am not sure why, and last but not least I love Lost, I always end up with a WTF? look on my face while it's on, but it sure is a fun ride even if I have absolutely no idea what is going on. ;)

Feeling Fine

So today has been a very good on program day. I was finally able to do a bit of grocery shopping so I have fruit and vegetables back in my house, so I ate breakfast from home rather than from the cafeteria.

Breakfast
WW english muffin with peanut butter
1/4 FF cottage cheese
1 scrambled egg

Lunch
Turkey sandwich
String cheese
FF strawberry yogurt
pickle

Dinner
Sloppy Joe's made w/ Turkey meat
Salad w/ 1 tbsp of Buttermilk ranch
1 small banana muffin

All that food and I hit my points exactly! Plus, I actually made it to the gym and got on the elliptical for 30 minutes. I used a different elliptical than I usually do and it felt a lot harder than usual. I think I might need to go back to that machine again in the future. I'm exhausted! All that's left tonight is an episode of Heroes. Only and hour and 20 until I can go to bed!

Weigh In Results

So I did manage to save my week. Thursday and Friday I stuck to my points and got a bit of exercise in so my weigh in ended up okay. It was not stellar and I am a bit disappointed in myself, if nothing else because I sabotaged myself and only worked hard enough to not gain rather than worked harder to get a good loss. I'm not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but myself. If I'm being honest the only reason I have a loss this week is because I didn't want to embarrass myself with a gain, it's not because I did all the right things and should have had a loss... so if I can work just hard enough to show a loss why in the world am I not working hard enough to show a significant loss? SO with that said... my loss this week is

0.6

I have a lot to think about, because I am really close to my 10% goal. A goal I believe I should have hit this week, but didn't because I made choices that were not wise. I have to figure out why I do what I do and work harder so not only can I hit my 10% and get my key chain, but get my 25 lb charm too because I hit 10% and then that 25 lb mark right after each other.

My Non-healthy week so far

Ughh, things have not gone weel this week. I have not been to the gym since Monday. Tuesday I tried to go but my Zumba class was cancelled and I didn't bring my iPod so instead of doing something I just left. And I'm not even sure I want to admit what I've been eating, but it hasn't been good. See I didn't get paid until well today actually so grocery shopping has not been an option for me (because I live on a budget, thank you Dave Ramsey). Basically I've been out of fruits and vegetables since Sunday as well as being out of turkey for my lunches. So I've been scrounging for food in my pantry, which btw, is better than fast food but still totally not as healthy as I should be eating. You know yummy things like Mac n Cheese and hot dogs! So while portions have been much smaller than they used to be, I've managed to eat a ton more sodium than I've been used to. And to top it all off, I went to dinner last night with my Mom and it was Italian. I ate chicken parmigiana, yum. I did take half of it and immediately asked for a box so I wouldn't eat it and I basically ate the salad without dressing... because the house dressing was creamy italian and it was gross, way too sweet and I think italian dressing should have a kick to it, but I'm sure that dinner was over 600 calories.

I am heading to the gym tonight, I don't care who I have to run over to get there. I can't stand not working out. I sleep a whole lot better after a good workout, so my sleep has been way off, and I need to burn some serious calories. I peeked at the scale this morning and it's up almost 2 lbs (thank you sodium!). So I'm drinking water, water, water and hoping I can get my groove back for the remaining 2 days before my official WW weigh in.

Food and Exercise

So after the dentist I finally ate lunch. I had an omelet for breakfast at 6:30 am and didn't eat lunch until 3 PM. I took my daughter to Subway and ate a 6 inch turkey... I actually bought a foot long so I'm eating the other half for dinner tonight. After Subway, I put on my exercise clothes and headed to the gym. I got 30 minutes on the elliptical and did 20 minutes of weight training. Not as long as I normally do but long enough for me not to consider myself lazy. The only other thing I have planned for this evening is watching Heroes! and after that I'm heading to bed!

Monday

So I didn't work more than 6 hours today because I had to go to the dentist. My teeth are nice and healthy and clean and shiny. My only problem is that I have this jaw pain that I've had for quite some time and when I mentioned it the dentist told me that I most likely clench my jaw in my sleep, which makes total sense because I wake up in pain every morning. The cure for this diagnosis? A $400 mouth guard. Uh yeah, thanks I think I'll put up with the pain for while. $400 worth of dental stuff is just not in my budget... you know that budget I've mentioned a couple of times that Dave Ramsey's finance class has put me on? Yeah I'm still trying to figure out how to survive without credit cards. I'm getting there, but doubt I'll be afloat until sometime later in the year. The Dental Hygenist suggested I try an over the counter mouth guard from Target or Wal-Mart in the mean time, so I am going to give that a go and see if it helps any.

Weekly Weigh In - 2/14/09

So the results are in and while I can still feel and see the water in my poor abused ankles I did get a really good loss in. So I'm relieved and really looking forward to the rest of February's weigh-ins, because I am so hitting my 10% goal before Feb. ends. So my results:

-1.4 lbs

Happy Valentine's Day all, I hope you have a wonderful day with your special someone. As for me, I'll be spending the day with my daughter after spending the morning having breakfast with the family. I'm thinking the DD and I will head to the movies tonight. My see He's Just Not That Into You.

Srsly?

At this late in the game I'm getting a caffeine headache (I've had enough of them to know what they feel like). My head hurts and I have no caffeine in this house to try to fix it. Hope tylenol pm will kick in so I can sleep through it.


And my darn cat has decided to play with a plastic grocery bag. She is freaking annoying me right now. She's running all over the house right now. What is wrong with her, she's normally the laziest cat on the planet, the main reason why she's 14 lbs! This is her...

Friday Post

Tomorrow is weigh in and I'm a little nervous. I haven't been nervous about a weigh in in a while, so it's kind of a weird feeling. I'm dealing with TOM and retaining water like nobody's business... I do take a water pill for my blood pressure so water retention usually doesn't last long, so tomorrow I could have a huge loss or n loss at all. It also didn't help that I ate a piece of pizza at lunch today... after I'd already eaten my turkey sandwich. For dinner I ended up only eating a small bowl of cereal, mostly because I was still full from my extremely huge lunch.

Now normally I'd take all the possibilities of the weigh in and toss it out the window, but I'm really close to hitting my 10% and I want it so bad. It would be an awesome little Valentine's gift for myself, especially because no else will be getting me something special tomorrow. One of the sucky things about being single.

So I think I'm going to send myself to bed now so I can get to tomorrow and find out is I'm going to have a rockin' weigh in or not. Keep your fingers crossed.

Tusady Recap

I Zumba'd my butt off tonight! Seriously, I've been taking this class since September but I think the class keeps getting harder and harder. I can not remember the last time I produced this much sweat. I love my Zumba though. My instructor Tracy is all kinds of awesome. She has been so encouraging to me and because I can tell she wants me to really succeed it pushes me to work harder so I can. I also take an Abs class with her before Zumba... and I still suck at that. I'm getting better but I totally can't wait until I have abs that can get through the class without wanting to cry. ;).

Tonight after class I made up a salad and had a Progresso vegetable soup, and I've been full ever since. That's actually a lot less food than I normally eat after Zumba, but yesterday I wasn't feeling too hot and I think that might be why I didn't eat all my points today. I have now gone 7 weeks without eating dinner out at a Fast Food joint. Actually that should be 7 weeks that I've been to a fast food place for any reason. This is such a huge accomplishment especialy when you take into account I have a teenager living in my house. She has been really cool about this healthy living, and without her even trying to lose weight has managed to lose 5 lbs. She likes those results so she hasn't pushed the fast food issue at all. I'm so proud of her. She even ran a mile today during her PE and she didn't slow down to a walk at all. She was so stoked about it. Persoanlly that would be a goal I'd love to accomplish myself. I can only get about a 1/4 mile before I have to walk. I'll get ther though.

I watched The Biggest Loser and got to hand it to Bob's team, they are far more compassionate than Bob team's of the past but I totally see this biting them in the ass completely because Jillian's team is made of of huge game players. Bob is gonna be pissed too! They didn't listen to him. They're all gonna be hurtin'.

Thoughts for Monday

Does anyone else ever have a difficult time acknowledging their weight loss in real life? I know for me, when someone asks me if I've lost weight or goes straight to the compliment I really have a hard time talking about it because every single time I get to the point where my weight loss would be considered significant and I get compliments on my loss I start packing on the pounds again. And I'm so afraid of this happening once again. Why in the world am I so afraid to be at a normal weight? It's totally ridicules how I've sabotaged myself the last 10 years. 1998 was the last time I was at a normal weight at about 154 - 160 and 2003 was the last time I had significant weight loss which had me at one point 198. Since '03 I've been anywhere from 205 to 251 (my highest weight ever!)

This time around (the 251 scared me back to WW) I've been losing in much smaller numbers but much more consistently. Everyone I know basically knows I've been doing WW since September and while people do acknowledge my weight loss, I really haven't. I say thank you and move on or totally change the subject because I don't know what else to do. I can't go back to that highest weight, I can't...

I think this is why I've turned to blogging about my weight loss, there's a certain anonymity here that doesn't affect my psyche and doesn't trigger (whatever it is) the button that has me gaining weight when a get a Woo-Hoo from my fellow bloggers. Compliments hear make me feel good, yet ones in real life leave me embarrassed and turning red. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this, other than it's been bothering me since I posted a picture on FB that had a lot of chatter about my weight and hair. And I was thinking after all that. Jeez, did I look that bad before? Why is everyone so shocked? Should I be hurt or offended? But for the first time in 10 years I didn't go running for Taco Bell. Maybe I'm changing. Maybe my health is finally more important than being thin? Although don't get me wrong, I so want to be thin. I think that would be teh Awesome! So after reading thrrough this juble of a mess, does anyone else ever feel like this? Or is it just me? What have you done to counter act your inner sabatouer?

Weekly Weigh In...

There are some points throughout this journey where I think "I so rock!" and this week is one of those weeks for me. I hit the gym 4 days this week and worked really hard (I mean really hard) 3 of those 4 days. Wednesday I kind of flaked and only stayed about 30 minutes. I started tracking what I ate from Tuesday on. Tracking is not something I do on a regular basis, but it was an eye opening experience. I have been eating way more than I should be and the biggest reason why is because I did not re-evaluate how many points I should be eating daily. Since this journey began I "lost" 3 daily points, but... uhhhh, failed to give them up because I "conveniently" forgot about the fact that your DP's drop as you lose weight. Now that I've remembered and I will be following my new DP's I might see more consistent results on the scale. So... on to this morning's weigh in. I am down

-2.2

So exciting to see over 2 lbs lost. I would have been thrilled with a 1 lb loss so 2 lbs puts me on a completely different level. Tonight, I'm going to a hockey game. I love hockey and am really looking forward to seeing the Blues play the Avs. I'm not worried about the food there because it's too damn expensive and I'm too cheap to buy the food. So the kid and I will be eating at home before we go to the game.

Quick Post

I haven't posted much this week in the way of my weight loss journey, but I'm still kicking ass and taking names. I've eaten pretty healthy. I'm still cooking every night, and hitting the gym most nights too. I almost flaked ont he gym last night, but went in anyway. I didn't do much, about 20 minutes of weights, and then made and appointment for my health re-assessment at the Y, but at least I didn't spend the entire night on the couch which was my original plan. I think my next weigh-in on Saturday will show another loss, how much remains to be seen.

Different kind of healthy

This year so far has not only been about making my body healthy but also about becoming financially healthy. I've been taking Financial Peace University through my church. The class is pretty simple, the advice he gives is not complex, it's based on common sense. Though just because it makes common sense it does not mean that any of take the advice. I'm trying though.

I've spent the last 2 weeks working on my monthly budget to try to make the numbers work. Sadly, I have not been able to do it. Now I should preface that I have very little credit card debt (like less than $500), but I have a house payment that takes up 67% of my paycheck, and this would be why I can not currently get healthy financially. I did do a few things to lower my monthly bills, and was able to my monthly expenses by $72. I am also going the coupon route. I'm collecting coupons online and getting the Sunday Paper and hoping I can find enough savings so I can feed my daughter healthy food at reasonable prices. The bottom line is though is I do not currently have enough monthly income to pay my monthly expenditures and eat every month.

Which brings me to this conclusion... I need a new job. One that will pay me about $8,000 more a year. I've been applying within my company and have a few good leads, but I need to put my resume out there and see if there is anything out there for me. Which I know will be hard because the current economy is not so good, and it seems there are tons of people looking at the same jobs I would be.

Current Mood: Frustrated

I got into an argument with someone last night and it's been with me ever since. I think it might be a while before we speak again. She's actually mad at me, while I'm just frustrated with her. I handled things badly, but I wasn't wrong just a little more sharp (okay maybe a lot) than was neccessary. You see I graduated from school last June. I worked very hard had little to no help and earned my grades. This person is smart but acts dumb (Reason #1 for frustration) she is not dumb she is lazy! (Reason #2) And stubborn and never admits a mistake. Never! After I graduated from college she went back to school to get her degree. Yay her, right? Well every single class she has taken she has asked for help, used my body of work to jump start her papers and once, that I know, of slapped her name on something that was 100% completely mine. After that happened I told myself I would no longer help her because she was totally in the wrong. She still doesn't see what the big deal is. She told me that last night, turning in my work as her own is no big deal, why am I upset about this?

So last night's argument? She called me and asked me to write 200 words for her discussion questions because "she had a bad day" and "she wants to just go to bed" I told that I didn't know how to say this without sounding like a bitch but No. She told me I was being a bitch and that I was selfish blah blah blah. And then she said that she would do it for me (yeah the difference is I would never and didn't ever ask anyone to do my work for me) So I completely lost my cool (which I regret) and went off in way that really the situation didn't warrant. I didn't really realize how bothered I was by her previous actions until she called me selfish for basically standing up for myself. It would have been much easier to have written up the 200 words than to have gone through everything last night. I made her cry and got mad at myself for being so upset about the whole thing. I slept like crap because I couldn't really get over it. On a positive note, I didn't take to eating. I stayed completely out of the kitchen.

I just don't know how to fix it, because while the yelling was wrong, I am not wrong. I earned my degree by myself and so should she. And I do know she had a bad day, but I also know that 90% of that bad day was her own fault. So, I'm left frustrated and a little bit sad. It's a huge mess.

Updated Profile Pic...

So I updated my profile picture. I actually posted this pic on Facebook and received more responses about this picture than just about anything else I've posted on FB before. 1) I have naturally curly hair and everyone who knew me from HS has probably never seen my hair straight and 2) I am officially at a 20 lb loss and I (and everyone else apparently) can really see a difference in my face. So that feels pretty good. I can't even imagine what my face and body will look like in another 20 lbs! It's been at least 5 years since I've been there and it's easy to forget being smaller when you've been large for quite a while. Something to look forward too and work towards!

Bar Food and Beer

So, I went to a new bar that had cheap food with my family tonight. I had a chicken breast sandwich, chili cheese fries (the best thing evah!) and 1 1/2 Bud Light's. Now I do not drink often because I have a low tolerance for alcohol, so the beer I drank gave me a serious buzz (my teeth were numb!) and because of the beer the food I ate was some of the best evah! So I had fun and ate whatever for the first time in weeks! And I no longer have any flex points (or very few anyway) so I must really work hard at the gym to earn soe AP's

Weekly Weigh In...

So this week's results are in and I amd down another...

-.8

These results are much more typical for me than all the over 1 lbs I've been getting for much of January. It's a loss, and I'm really happy about that, but I was beginning to hope my body was going to shed this fat a little better than it did in 2008. I had to work really hard for this .8. I feel like I worked harder than last week and maybe that's the problem. I worked harder in the gym so I built more muscle this week. Hmmm, that's a thought.

It has been about 12 weeks since I have done a health assessment at the YMCA, so I think it may be time to get back in there and see where and how much I have improved. I really like that they do fat %. I'm sure that's improved and I'd like to see how many inches I've lost too. I'm going to make an appointment today.

Snow Day!

I did not go into work today. I braved the snow yesterday because I didn't think 2.5 inches was enogh to justify not going into work, but when we hit 7 inches I decided I was not hitting the roads and especially when I leave for work at 5:30 AM and the roads have barely been plowed. So I've been awake since 4:30 AM and I have the whole day to do some cooking and cleaning and snow shoveling today.

Monday Recap

So I made a serious attempt at making mexican beans and rice tonight. It turns out... I don't know how to make it well. It wasn't a bad attempt but it sure didn't turn out like the Smart Ones version of it. It ended up being too dry. I needed to add more tomato sauce to it, but I didn't have anymore so I couldn't really fix it tonight. My daughter and I ate it any way. I'll buy some sauce tomorrow and add it to the leftovers (and there is a lot of it.) I followed the recipe from Lynn.

As for everything else... I stayed on track with my points AND I did 60 minutes on the elliptical at the Y tonight. I usually only do 30 minutes but stayed on longer because no one was waiting for the machine. I was also watching Oprah and I didn't want to miss what was going on. It was about teenagers who are severely overweight. Tomorrow is the 2nd part and Dr. Oz will be on the show and will attempt to help the kids. I'll be watching to what he has to say to them.

Contest for a kitchen scale!

Check out the scale giveaway on Roni’s Weight Loss Blog! I can win an Affordable Food Scale from Eat Smart and so can you! Click here for contest details!

Weekly Weigh In...

Weigh in was this morning and I am down!!!

-1.4 lbs

So I'm pretty happy with it. I do wish I had lost .2 more because then I would have made it to the 220's but really it's okay because that just means that this coming week I can keep my eyes on the prize. I am determined to get there so here are my goals for the week.

1) eat a protein at breakfast to keep the hunger at bay
2) Get to the gym at least 5 days this week
3) Make a meal plan and stick to it (i've already shopped for the food I just need to work on some prep to make my job easier!)
4) Drink at least 96 oz of water daily

and my last goal is to get into the 220's but I think that is more like my reward for meeting my goals than anything else!

Lesson of the day

Don't expect a 3 point breakfast to keep you full until lunch. I had a 1 point English Muffin and a small (and I mean small) banana at 5:30 this morning and by 8 I felt like I was starving, so I ended up down at the cafeteria. I ended up eating a cup of oatmeal and another small banana for another 5 points, so I'm full now. Hopefully it lasts until lunch time...

Monday Recap

So once again I did not take photos of dinner but I should have because it was delicious.

Here's a recap of today's food:

Veggie omelot w/ just a tiny bit of cheese
hashbrowns

chicken chili
SF/FF chocolate pudding

Sloppy Joe's (made w/ lean beef and WW buns)
Vegetable Medley

SF/FF pudding w/ 1/2 banana

Exercise includes 30 minutes on the treadmill maybe not as long as I wanted but at least it's a little but of exercise. Tomorrow I'll get in at least 90 because I'll get in my Abs class and Zumba!

Weekly Weigh In...

I'm so excited to say that I have lost 3 lbs this week! 3 LBS! I've been back on program for 18 weeks now and most of weight losses have been .08 - 1.2 lbs a week with the biggest loss being 2.4 lbs that I had 2 weeks ago. So 3 lbs is the largest loss I've had in 18 weeks.

I am so excited and I truly believe that the reason I've stuck to the program and exercised consistently is the BLBE, I don't want to dissappoint my team so I've been making better food choices. I realized this morning that I have not been to a Fast Food Restaraunt since before Christmas! That means I haven't been to the evil place that is Taco Bell in almost a month, and I used to reward myself with Taco Bell every Tuesday after Zumba!

So yaay, I'm excited and happy and completely motivated for next week too!

Sidetracked by responsibilities

All my plans were changed so it feels like a failure of a day. My plans for the evening included running to the grocery store to get stuff to make a healthy dinner and also get to the gym to get some cardio in. Instead my suster called and asked if I could pick up my nieces(my brother's kids, he has school at night and his wife is on travel for work this week) and watch them tonight so instead of doing my thing, which I really adore doing, I had to watch the kids. For dinner I ate a salad, which is not bad, actually good. I probably could have used a protein but I'll get that in tomorrow, just like I'll get the gym in then.

Goal sucking

So I'm already sucking on my goal of taking food pictures. I think I'm having a hard time with this one because I eat at work for both breakfast and lunch and cameras aren't exactly allowed. So I think I may have to scratch that goal and redo it to try an accomplish it for dinners only. Not that my dinners ahve been anything to write home about this week.

Zumba and sabotage

I love my Zumba class! I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it. My instructor is awesome and encouraging and I look forward to Tuesday nights like no other night. I worked hard and earned lots of AP's, which is the only reason why I did not screw up my day points-wise.

I do not know what is wrong with my family, but sometimes I think they are evil. My daughter asked if I would drop her off at my Mom's house tonight so she could eat dinner with them. So I did and went to Zumba. When I went to pick her up, my family had not fed her... why I'm still a little confused about. So then, after I said something to my sister, she made Haley Mac n Cheese. Yeah thanks for that... did I mention I hadn't eaten anything yet? I hadn't. On top of that, there were brownies baking in the oven. Brownies! Yummy, gooey, chocolatey brownies. Brownies, cookies, cake etc are sstaples at my parents house and for some reason they decide to make them whenever I go over there. It pisses me off and puts me in a bad mood. So my exercise high was totally ruined. I've told my daughter we are not going over there anymore. You know, they say they want me to be healthy but then they do this. I think they want me to be healthy as long as I stay fatter than them. I'm sure that's not true, it's just how I feel right now.

And to top it all off, I missed most of The Biggest Loser because my family watches American Idol... okay I do too but not during the horrible auditions week.

Living Life One Day at a Time...

So I'm feeling much better about this week and am back on track. I did hit the gym again last night and tonight is Zumba! and I try not to miss my class because I do enjoy it so much. And that is something I thought I'd never ever say about exercise. I noticed that my gym clothes are getting a little loose, so while the scale might not be showing the results I want something is happening with my body so I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I had to take my daughter to the Orthodontist yesterday and it's now official she will be getting her braces off on the 21st. She's really excited and so am I, but for a completely different reason. I made my last payment for her braces yesterday. So who-hoo, one less thing I have to pay for every month.

Everyone has been setting goals and I think that's a great idea so I thought I would do them too:

1) exercise at least 5 days this week
2) Take pictures of my meals and post them (I may have to start on this one tomorrow cuz I've already had breakfast)
3) Limit soda intake to no more than 1 a day (I've slacked on this one lately, since there is currently no soda in my house this one should be easy to stick to)
4) Blog daily recap of how I did everyday.

I challenged my daughter to a Wii fit contest and she just texted me with her acceptance of the challenge. She's 14 and while not fat she's not exactly fit and I've been struggling with finding a way to get her to be more active. So she now has 30 days to unlock all the games/levels whatever Wii Fit has and get the best score she can and then I have to try and beat them. If I can't beat her scores then she gets. of all things, a Batman Backpack and Footsie PJ's. Seriously that's what she asked for. If I win she has to clean the house from top to bottom. Some serious stakes. I bet she drops 10 lbs and hopefully so will I. That would be totally awesome.

Lazy Day Sunday? Nope Not me.

So yesterday was disappointing on many levels. I didn't see the numbers on the scale I wanted to, I didn't drink enough water, and I attended a SLU girls Basketball game and ate concession food. I no longer have any Flex points for the week. That's how many points I managed to consume in one evening.

But it's okay, because today is a new day. I woke up early and went to church with my family, and we did not go out to breakfast afterward. And this afternoon I went to the gym and worked out hard. I actually ran. Well maybe more of a fast jog and I didn't last very long about a 1/4 of a mile but that's like waaay more than I've done before. I'm more of a walker. My sister is the runner. She was there at the gym too and she brought my Mom with her! My Mom is really good at the dieting part of losing weight but has never embraced the exercise. And she needs it desperately, so I was really happy to see her there. I'm hoping she will make it a habit. It would be great to go to the gym and have workout partners there. It gets lonely going by myself.

After the gym, I headed over to the grocery store to pick up a few staples that I need for my lunches this week. I was out of turkey meat and low on bread, and I'm going to bring salad with me this week as well. So I needed a cucumber. It felt really good to get in the grocery store and not be tempted by anything bad. Maybe I should remember to workout everytime before I head to the grocery store.

Tonight, I am going to a class offered by my church called Financial Peace University. 2009 is all about getting b alance in my life again. I've been working on my health and now I'm goign to figure out the money piece and maybe after that I'll be able to tackle the social aspect of my life. It's completely non-existant and has been for quite sometime. I really believe this is my year to figure out me. Give me time, I'm going to work really hard.

Weekly Weigh In...

So, I'm just going to say I'm incredibly frustrated at the moment because I've just gotten back from my weigh-in and there was.... no change. I neither lost nor did I gain! WTF? This was the first week, that I didn't cave and head to a fast food restaurant. This was the first week that I didn't eat breakfast from the cafeteria at work everyday. This was the first week, that other than spaghetti night (that I had all of my flex points for) that I cooked healthy meals and ate well like a normal person and not the overeater that I am. And the results are no loss? So I say again W.T.F.? The WW leader thinks the loss will catch up with me next week, but hell that just does not make me feel better now.

Happy Friday and Thrusday Recap...

Well I did manage to complete the day relatively unscathed. My Food consisted of:

FF vanilla yougurt w/ bananas and blackberries - 5 pts

Leftovers of the sausage and peppers - 7 pts
SF/FF pudding - 2 pts

WW peanut butter cookie - 1 pt
100 cal pretzel bar - 2 pts

Vegetable soup - 0 pts
SF/FF pudding - 4 pts (I had 2 servings)
100 cal icecream sandwich - 2 pts

After writing that all down I realize why I was so hungry yesterday, I did not eat all my points. It's a good thing I brought more food with me today to help with my hunger. It's very difficult to be at work and not have brought your healthy food in because the options here are pretty much awful!

I did not go to the gym last night. My house was a mess and I decided that I needed to do things around my house instead. So I ended up with a completely clean kitchen and livingroom. The kitchen of course is not as clean as it was when I was done because I had to make my homemade vegetable soup and cook something for my teen, who refuses to eat soup. (I think she does it to me on purpose. I know she thinks my goal in life is to be a short order cook) I'll head back to the gym tonight to make up for it. I don't ususally go to the gym on Fridays but well it's not like I'm doing anything else.

Hungry!

Hungry, Hungry, hungry. That's all that keeps going through my head right now. I am so hungry. Apparantly I need to re-examine my new breakfast, which was yummy and see what else needs to be added to it to help sustain me through until lunch time. I've just eaten a small snack but that hasn't helped either. I've also drank a ton of water, that hasn't helped either. I am not happy right now...

Daily Recap

I feel like I did really well with my food intake for the day. I ended using my AP's that I earned today, but that's okay.

Veggie Omelet
Hash browns
Engish muffin w/ cream cheese

Turkey Sandwich
Yogurt
FF/SF pudding

String Cheese

Turkey Sausage Ghoulash w/ Rice,peppers, tomatoes, & onions
FF/SF pudding

Workout: 30 minutes eliptical / 30 minutes weights


I shouldn't have had the hash browns but considering I stayed within my allotted points (as long as I use my AP's ;)) I'm pretty happy. I really like this competition it's really keeping my in line and motivated. I son't want to disappoint my teammates anymore than I want to disappoint myself!

Finishing the evening out on a postive note

So I made sure that I did not eat dinner anywhere but my own home tonight! After I got home from work I ate a snack to tide me over until after my workout. I had string cheese and a WW snack bar. I then went to an Abs class and then Zumba! I love my Zumba, it gives me a fantastic workout and I always feel great after the class ends. I earned 13 AP's, Woo-Hoo!

I came home from the gym and I'll admit I did not cook. I made a Smart One. I used to eat those regularly, but this time around I've tried to eat fresher foods, so I don't feel too bad eating it. I stayed within my points so I'm really happy and I know I'm going to do just as well again tomorrow!

Currently watching The Biggest Loser and this new twist is actually kind of sad. I'm sure there is more to the twist but I don't know what it is yet, so I'm trying to reserve judgement on it.

BLBE2 Team Angie!

I'm very excited to not only be on a team, but to start visiting my fellow team members and read the blogs and follow their success! I'm also looking forward to my own success. This is such a great challenge and it's going to be so much fun!

Variety

I am a creature of habit. Once I find something I like to eat, I stick with it until I've run it to the ground. It's hard for me to change what I eat, especially at breakfast. I usually eat a vegetable omelet for breakfast which is actually pretty good is you limit the amount of cheese you put in it. I recently switched from the omelet to an english muffin and cottage cheese in the morning, which is even better calorie wise for me, but basically I've eaten the same thing breakfast every day for a week now. Is my lack of variety keeping my metabolism from working at its best? Or am I okay as long as I'm sticking within my daily points? Am I keeping myself from truly enjoying food because I lack a pallette that enjoys variety? I don't just things I think about... and I guess my lunch habits aren't any better because I just realized that I've been eatring some form of turkey sandwich for the last 2 months and I'm still not tired of it. *sigh* At least I do different dinners.

Monday Notes...

So today was a bit of a mixed bag. I started off fantastic, but ended the day somewhat off course. Today I had:

Whole Grain English Muffin - 2 points
w/ cream cheese - 2 points
Cottage Cheese w/ pineapple - 3 points

Turkey Sandwich - 5 points
SF Chocolate Pudding - 2 points
Banana - 2 points
8 oz coke - 2 points

Then I went to the gym and worked out for an hour. I worked hard enough that I'm currently ready for bed and it's only 8:30 so I feel pretty good. I stayed conservative on my earned AP's and said I earned 6.

And then came the off course part. Before going to the gym, I hadn't eaen anything since Noon, so after the gym I was pretty darn hungry. My sister made spaghetti for dinner and invited us over. So I went and I ate it and then I ate some more. Instead of being satisfied I was FULL by the end of it. Overall I think I ended up using 11 of my flex points in order to cover today's food intake. Tomorrow I have my Zumba class, so I'm definitely eating a snack before class and then I am not going over to eat at any relatives house.

Lazy Sunday

So today is the last day of my holiday break. It's back to work tomorrow. I'm conflicted about it. I'm looking forward to going back to work because I do like to be productive, but I work in a department that spends a lot of time surrounded by food. It's difficult especially when you work with people that questions the food you eat. I don't even know how to explain it, other than when your life is food you become nosy about the food that people eat.So anyway the whole point of that is I dread going back because my life becomes about cafeteria food and I have decided I'm bringing my own food to eat so I can stick to the WW program.

I did not accomplish a lot today either. I have been completely lazy. I got a couple loads of laundry done and I took H to exchange a pair of jeans she got for Christmas. She was pretty excited because she had to get them in a smaller size. I'm proud of her.

We also went to dinner over at my Mom's tonight. That was probably a mistake because I ended up eating beef stroganoff. It was leftovers so it's actually the second time in less than a week that I've eaten red meat. I'm not a huge fan of red meat, but every once in a while I crave it. I think I'm past the craving now. Points wise I'm still pretty close to my daily allowance. I ate oatmeal for breakfast and a piece of toast and then lost track of the day so I didn't eat again until dinner, so I'm good there, but I did realize that I ate way more at dinner than I needed to because I did not stay ahead of my hunger, something that the WW leader has been trying to encourage us to do. I failed today. Tomorrow I hope to do better.

Also, I joined the Biggest Loser Blog Edition 2. I think that will really help keep me focused. I won't win it because I lose weight too slowly (Thank you PCOS) but I do lose weight steadily when I stick to the program so I'm pretty excited about lsoing weight with others, even if it's with people I have never met in person.

It's a Brand New Year!

So the month of December was pretty much a bust. The last three weigh ins in December saw my weight go up by a total of 3.2 pounds. I almost quit WW again. Thankfully, I took a huge step back and re-evaluated why I am on the weight loss journey to begin with. Losing weight is nice, being thin will be great, but that's not actually why I'm on this journey. In July I was told I have to lose weight. I have a fatty liver, my sugar jumped 20 points in a year, and I was having a hard time walking up a flight of stairs.

So after that reality check for me, I buttoned down and really followed the WW program and went to the gym and made sure I worked out hard while there. I'm really happy to say that it paid off and I am down 2.4 lbs this week! I still have a little bit more to go to get all of the December slide off but I'm moving in the right direction!

And also as a victory for me today... After my Sat. meeting I usually head over to Panera or Sonic and eat whatever I want for breaksfast which could include a breakfast burrito or a chocolate pastry or sometimes even both. This morning I returned home and had an english muffin w/ cream cheese and cottage cheese w/ pineapple for breakfast... about a 1/4 the calories. I'm so very proud of myself and I feel completely motivated to continue on the new Momentum plan. So. excited. Seriously.

Weekly Weigh In...

Down 1.2 lbs this week. I'm pretty prud of that number becuase I really didn't think I was going to lose more than 1/2 lb this week. I feel like I continue to struggle this this weight loss process, but the scale keeps showing losses. I think it helps that I exercise because while I eat much better than I used to, I do not eat as well as I can. I need to eat a lot more fruits and vegetables but have a hard time doing it. Which is weird because I actually like fruits and vegetables. I just like them so much more when someone else has purchased, washed and cut them up. Maybe that's just a comfort thing from childhood?

Tomorrow is my 35 birthday. I was really hoping to be about 20 lbs lighter than what I currently am, and maybe that's why I feel like I'm struggling through this process? I am currently the same weight I was when I moved out here to St. Louis almost 6 years ago, when I was first diagnosed with high blood pressure. I've been 35 lbs lighter than this point and now 17 lbs heavier. I really want to be down to the 35 lbs lighter point. I'll still have 40 lbs to lose at that point, but I it would be a really good start. I will not be this size or weight by my 36th. I can't afford to live this unhealthy anymore.