Triumph of the day...

It's only 7:20 in the am and already I've had a triumph. In my hand this morning was a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit sandwich. I was already savoring the taste of it in my mouth, and then I walked by the cold foods in the cafe and saw cottage cheese and low fat yogurt. I put the breakfast sandwich back and got the cottage cheese and yogurt, all because I remembered my post from last night where I discussed the fact that I was going to make changes. So Day 1 going well so far! (if only I had taken pictures :p)

Oh and look at this, I'm posting all about it too. Things they are a changin'!


Update

Lunch has also been a sucess. Turkey sandwich on that weird Arnold bread.;) low-fat peach yogurt and a nutrigrain bar. + water, lots of water.

Now, I just nbeed to survive dinner and day 1 can be considered a sucess!

Week at a glance

This was a weekend of Zumba. My arms and shoulders are very sore from yesterday's interval training. However, despite all my hard work I've been in on the exercise front, my eating has managed to go to hell in a handbasket. I even ate a taco from Taco Bell, and cookies were involved in this weekends fiasco. There is hope for me though because I'm sick of my negative attitude and am finally feeling liek I'm ready to get past this stand still that I've been in. Starting in the AM I'm back on with food and no more excuses.

My life is about to get a lot busier. I signed up for an explorations class through my Church, so I start there tomorrow. Tuesday I have Zumba, Wednesday I play taxi so my daughter gerts to her Youth Group at Church, Thursday, I'm starting a new Bootcamp workout, Friday I have Zumba, and Saturday morning is one more Zumba class.

Also on Friday's my kid starts piano lessons, so I bought this for her this weekend...

Meatball sandwich contest

My daughter and I






So he failed miserably, neither he nor his buddy managed to eat the entire sandwich in the allotted 40 minutes. But we all had fun watching.

I'd like to be posting something...

that shows how things are different for me, and that I'm kicking all kinds of ass, but I can't. I'm sturggling to find my way. My job is more stressful than I thought it would be. I realize more and more how little I actually know. I feel like a complete fraud. I know this feeling will go away in about 6 months, when I've been there long enought o actually know stuff, but until then I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I'm still exercising at least 3 days a week. Unfortunately that's not enough for my body to actually make changes. I've found that I need at least 4 days in order to lose weight consistently. I need to get back into this. I am tired of being the weight I am. I've been playing around with the same three pounds for about 3 months now. Seriously, what is wrong with me? My food? Not so hot, although I did have a bit if a break through, where I actually went grocery shopping. Which means that yesterday, instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria, I brought my breakfast and lunch from home so I totally ate within my allotted points, but one day does not a habit make.

On a side note, since my face has gotten noticably thinner, I have begun seeing more wrinkles on my forehead and around my eyes. Now don't get me wrong, they are not very apparant probably to anyone but me (and my Mom, don't get me started!) but I decided to try something to see if it helps. After two days, I can notice a slight difference. We'll see how I feel in a month. This is what I purchased...

Avon Anew


One more thing... I plan to post pictures (if they come out ok) of my brother during his Meatball sandwich eating contest. I think it will be hysterical and mabe slightly gross. lol I hope he keeps the damn thing down. The contest is at 5 PM tonight.

2009 changes

Thought I would post some pictures that shows the changes in my face at least. I havne't lost a whole lot of weight since June but I've lost inches. Hope I keep it up.
March 2009... or thereabouts

Easter 2009
August 2009

September 2009

So I just erased a post...

that consisted of doom and gloom. Too many things going on and not enough time to concentrate on me anymore. I'm trying and some days work really well and some days... well some days are not. Today was a not day, but I got my kid to the Teen Ministry group at our church tonight, so at least one positive came from this day. Tomorrow is my last day with my current position. I'm really sad to be leaving before I had the chance to really accomlish anything there. My new job, should give me a ton more opportunities and I should be able to leave my mark with the organization. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And please! Stress, please go away!

Weigh in

It's been a while since I've posted any weigh in results mostly because I found myself back up to 209 before I gave myself a reality check and began correcting my behavior. I'm am back down to 206.2 as of this morning. I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep it all up for this next week so I can see an almost 3 lbs loss again! It was quite a good feeling to see the scale moving again.

Life is crap.

I have handled teenage drinking and bi-curious behavior in the most awful manner. I thought I was far more tolerant than I really am. It's been a completely shitty week, and I'm not sure I like this business of being a parent to a teenager. I don't even know how to fix this huge gap between my daughter and me. It feels ike the Grand Canyon and since there are only the two of us in this house it is very quiet and extremely lonely here. I want chocolate very badly almost as much as I want to curl up in a ball and well, bawl my eyes out.

In other news, I got another new job and I start it next week. Travel is involved, which would be awesome, if it weren't for the above teenage drama. Intertnational travel is a distinct possibility. So can you tell my life is stressful? and actually through this all, I'm actually losing weight rather than gaining. haven't blown it all because of stress. So yay one good thing.

Tracking and success

So food has been good all week. I've even tracked everything I've eaten all this week. And all of my food has been brought home from home. No cafeteria food or even restaraunt food. Yay me! I think I might actually have a loss this week. Exercise is normal for me... which means good. I'm pretty happy about my weight loss program this week.

Things are afoot at work again. I think I might be switching jobs again. Work would be about 15 minutes closer, the work more challenging, and there is a possibility of travel (domestic and foreign). I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but I went over and met with the group this morning and it appeared to go well... and there was the hottest guy over in the building. He'd be a joy to look at every day. lol That's all I got.

In the interest of honesty...

I must confess that I had BBQ with the family today. There was cake. It entered my mouth. So much for kicking the sugar habit today. Tomorrow is another day. Ugh, I feel like such a loser.

And my arms, thighs, and ass are very sore. Like so sore that I'm having a hard time standing and sitting down.

I wish I had icecream. Sh*t I don't not really, well I do but Thank godness there isn't any in my house. *sigh* Tomorrow, I promise will be a better day.

I keep hoping I'll find it...

My willpower that is. I can't fiure out why I can kick all kinds of ass at the gym, In fact I've been doing 4-5 consistently for so long, that I feel pretty damn awful if I don't go to the gym. But food? Where is the girl who didn't go near fast food for 8 months? Where is the girl who used to say no to cookies, brownies, and icecream? This summer ruined me. I think I lost a total of 4.5 lbs since June. I've gained 2.4 lbs in the last 3 weeks. I'm trying to lose the sugar habit, In fact last night was the end of it for me. There isn't anything sweet left in my house. No icecream, no chocolate chip cookie, no yummy delicious brownies (those were made and eaten last night!)
I knew I was getting to this point again, so I went grocery shopping with a list and am ready for the upcoming week. Although... I already have to go back to the grocery store becuse I am out of bananas. I love bananas, I think they are the worlds most perfect fruit. So I need bananas and turkey meat, becuase I'm going back to making my lunches. Oh, and I'm getting yogurt so I can make fruit smoothies again (not for me, for my teen otherwise she doesn't eat breakfast, she's weird).

Hapy LAbor Day all! I'm off to the gym for another Zumba class, it's my 3rd class in 4 days. I'm so excited about this. I love Zumba!

Where has the year gone?!!!

I cna't believe it's already September....anyway, you would think that since I’ve now got the internet running at home I would blog more. Alas, I am a lazy creature by nature and I am way more busy that a lazy person should ever have to be. I’m up before 5 am every morning, at work around 6 am where I put in the minimum amount of effort possible (some days it surprises me how hard I work and other days it’s a lazy woman’s dream lol) I then go home cope with a moody teen, who is in luuurrrvve with a boy, and then go and spend at least an hour, sometimes two, at the gym working extremely hard and pushing my limits. By that time it’s close to 8 PM haven’t eaten, so I have to figure that out not only for myself but for said moody teen (not an easy task), clean, do wash, feed the cats, clean up litter boxes and other assorted cat messes (some gross, some just odd. Why do cats like paper so much?) By that time I’m usually too damn tired to do more than play Mafia Wars on Facebook before I give in to sleep.

All that to say, I’m here and Alive (funny that I typed that just as I’m Alive by Flyleaf started playing on my iPod) I’m just too lazy too write a lengthy or not so lengthy post as to what is going in my life.

I did not go weigh in again. I’m a horrible Weight Watcher member. In fact, I’m so horrible I finally decided I wasn’t going to spend $40 a month for it any more. Money is a little tight and I have to start cutting corners. I haven’t been following the program for about 3 months anyway. I have the membership through Oct 3, so I’ll stick it out until then and even discipline myself enough to follow the program so I try to get my 50lb charm, I’m about 8 lbs away from it, so it will be a stretch but I want to try for it.

I haven’t given up on my weight loss, in fact I’m feeling pretty good about everything right now. The Y added another day of Zumba so I get to Zumba 3 days a week now and I try to do Total Body 2 days a week, so my exercise has picked up and while I don’t always make the best food choices, I really focus on portion control. It’s helped me a lot. I’m losing small amounts of weight, not the huge numbers I want to see, but every time the scale shows a lower number I’ve accomplished something good. We’ll see how things go once the WW monthly pass is expired if I can keep it all up on my own. I need to try.

Well that’s all I got… at least that’s all I want to talk about for now. I suck all the air out of the room when I talk about how much my life sucks because my 15 year old has a better love life than I do. ;) And I never know how to express myself well enough not to come off like a desperate middle aged woman who lives with cats when I think about relationships, so I’m just not going there. How the hell is everyone else?

Back on track

Gosh, I'm totally on track today and I wasn't even trying. I even got in a fantastic workout. According to my HRM, I burned 678 calories, and my points for the day totalled 20. Yay, I get me a dessert... or snack of some sort before I go to bed probably a banana at this point... because I'm doing so well.

Work is going really well. I like my job and who I work for. I'm learning an enormous amount of new and helpful things that will make me a huge asset to the company. So I'm pretty excited.

Oh and my Y started a new session for all its classes and they added another day for Zumba! So I get to take Zumba 3 times a week now! I'm pretty stoked about that.

I ate cake

My niece's 4th birthday was celebrated today. It was a tea party. The little girls were so adorable! There was cake and I ate it. Way yummy cake. Thank goodness this is the last birthday of the month (there have been 5) and we don't have any birthday's to celebrate until December. Birthday cake is officially off the menu for the next three months! Will post pics when the photographer loads them into the computer to share.

Yay! Internet Rocks!

Well that was fast. I called yesterday to set up internet in my home, for like the first time ever, and they came out this morning and now I'm rocking the internet again. You know what this means? It means I can start blogging again, and it's totally awesome that I do not have to fight with my teen over the computer because I bought her a mini computer for her birthday earlier in the month. We are both currently sitting next to each other both on the computer. It will be pretty sad if she starts IM'ing me from 3 feet away.

So I guess I should also mention that because I was waiting for the cab;e guy, I did not get to my WW meeting this morning. Its okay though I'm pretty sure I was going to have a gain. I now have a week to get my act together again, so I can start seeing the number n the scale go down once again.

I'm about to go shopping for a four year old and then off to a birthday tea party for said four year old. My Mother got into a fight with the four year old's parent so the party should be loads of fun!

Week so far....

It's amazing how much a new job affects your life. I loved that I used to be able to bog everyday before the new job... but I didn't exactly love my job. I love my new job, but rarley have any time to blog.

I still exercise everyday (or almost anyway) I flaked big time on Wednesday and I missed Abs on Tuesday, but did Zumba. I havne't been doing Total Body workout this week. I normally do it twice a week, but did the elliptical instead because I was tired and I didn't want to be at the gym for two hours. So I did an hour to get something in. I need to step it up again. I miss that high I used to get from working really hard at the gym. It's probably ben two weeks since I've felt like that.

Food is not bad, not great but not bad. I've trried to get my fruits and vegetables in this week, but it never seems to be enough, and I've been eating a lot of sandwiches. I'm not usre why other than they are quick to get in the cafeteria and they are also convenient. I'm still having issues with soda. I don't drink alot (maybe 3 a week) but it's more than I want. Or rather it's more than I think I should be drinking. Believe me, I want every drop of the coca cola classic that I dirnk. ;)

I actually can't believe that it's already Friday. I have no plans for the weekend other than attending my niece's birthday party. She's turning 4 and we are having a tea party for her. I sitll have to buy a gift. Oh and I got my first pay check on the new job. The money? It's nice. So nice I'm finaly going to be able to get internet in my home. I think that might solve my blogging issues. So just a few more weeks of inetermittent blogging and then I can get my behind in gear again.

Weigh In

I made it to my Weight Watchers Meeting this week. This is a huge accomplishment for me as I have been avoiding weighing in for most of the summer and I've now gone 2 weeks in a row. The results... not too bad. I'm down 1.6 lbs this week giving me a total loss while on Weight Watchers of 40.2 lbs, and a total weight loss of almost 45 lbs. I'm very pleased with this and feeling much better about things than I have in a while. I think I've worked through the cookie issue. If I want one I'll have one, but I'm not going to continue with this daily habit. I managed to keep myself away from them after I wrote that post about them.

Work is still hectic and I'm thinking of going back for my Master's. My co-worker comes back from maternity leave the middle of Sept. and I think I'll start on my Master's in October. Wish me luck, because I know I'm going to need it!

Let's talk Cookies

I've been having an issue with cookies lately. I just can't sem to say no to them. Soft, chewy chocolate chip cookies appear to be everywhere I turn. And I just don't say no to them. Now, to counter-act my current cookie obession I do extra time at the gym, so I havne't had any significant gains from these cookies, but I'm not losing the weight either. I have to get past this, because honest;y I'm tired of working out 2 to 2 1/2 hours every night and not seeing a lower number on the scale. When this has happened to you, how have you worked past it. Is there an alternative out there that will satisfy this cookie obsessoin without killing me with calories?

I'm at a standstill...

I went to weigh in this morning and there was absolutely no change in my weight. Which quite frankly is a good thing considering I was dealing with cake in m house all week, thanks to the teens birthday. And on top of that a birthday dinner for my older brother at Maggiano's... a family style Italian restaurant. Talk about a carb overload. I did better than I expected there and exercised a lot. 2 nights this week, I burned over 1000 calories at the gym. (yes, I was at the gym a long time) And on top of that I completed my first week on the new job. I love it, but am feeling very overwhelmed. I've been being trained on a job that is basically back-filling while the person goes out on maternity leave. Her leave was supposed to start next week, but started yesterday when she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy! Congrats to her, but boo-hoo for me as I have not been fully trained on everything yet.

I was woken up out of a dead sleep last night because someone was ringing my doorbell. My first thought was the kids were being stupid and locking each other out of the house. So I let it go, when the hit happened a second time I was all prepared to go off on someone... turns out my kids had been ding dong ditching someone else's house and they followed my kids home and told on them. Needless to say, I was pissed and now my nephew has to spend his last two days out here in MO with my parents because he's not staying with me, my daughter is grounded, for like evah! and my niece can't stay at my house for a while either. The one rule I had was not to leave the house once I go to bed, my daughter knows this, my niece and nephew know this and yet they broke the rule. I am totally an easy parent. I rarely ground my kid, I don't yell all that often. She can do pretty much whatever she wants as long as she asks me first, and 99% of the time my daughter should be like win Child of the Year. And then my nephew comes out to visit and she turns into a juvenile delinquent. Color me frustrated today. And in fairness when my nephew is not around my daughter he's a damn good kid, also a worthy candidate for COTY... maybe even more so because his home-life sucks ass big time. Anyway, I was totally embarrassed and had to crack the whip in the middle of the night and they have no idea how much worse it's going to be for them in the light of the day.

That's my week in a nutshell. How was yours?

Weigh In...

So I am down from last week. That's a good thing. I ws surprised to see 208.8 this morning actually. While I did so much better this week than the previous three, I did not do nearly as well as I expect from myself. I think it may take me a bit to get back in the groove of things but I feel like I am fianlly heading down the right path again.

My first day on the new job was yesterday. I spent most of the day settling in at my new cubicle with a staff meeting and a little training thrown in. I think I will really like my new job. I like my boss and my immediate co-worker (who is going out on maternity leave and is an e-published romance author!) Once she goes out on maternity leave I think I will be pretty busy because I really will have to learn her job, not just think I know how to do it.

My baby turns 15 tomorrow. Saying that makes me feel old, which is weird because I'm only 35! She's a beautiful young woman and I am so glad I have had the privelage of raising her. She has made my life meanignful in ways I never expected when I was a young 19 year finding out I was going to be a Mom. I hinelty didn't think I would be doing it alone and I didn't think at all about how my actions would form her and mold her into what she has become today. I still regret that I have given her my food phobias! If I'd known that would happen I would have never said on a weekly basis that I do not eat meast attached to the bone or food that comes from the sea. I severly limited her culinary experiences. lol

Anyway, that's my life as I currently know it. Have a wonderful weekend! I can't believe it's already August!